Narnia Preferences and Imagines

The Pevensies~4/5

Lucy Pevensie

'I wish I was braver' she'd think. Her eyes downcast, her head shaking with contempt at herself. Sometimes she'd feel as if the eyes staring at her were saying "why can't you be more like, Y/n?" And that only made her feel smaller.

Lucy Pevensie was always thought incapable of jealousy. She's too bubbly, too happy, too good at seeing the good to ever be jealous of a person. But she isn't like her siblings (at least not in the movies as they disregard it was she who fought and Susan who was a dainty lil flower). She couldn't bring herself to hold a dull kitchen knife, much less a sword. Sometimes she'd almost chicken out of being announced at balls unless she could hide behind the shadow of one of her siblings.

Lucy Pevensie is not valiant. And, therefore, she is jealous of Y/n's inherent bravery. The way she's quick to speak her mind without fear of what others would think about her. Lucy's soul would stir whenever Y/n would charge into battle only steps behind her brothers. She was jealous when the general would compliment her on her fighting skills. She was jealous when Y/n faced problems for her. It made her feel so small and so weak for Y/n to ask for clarification on things during meetings because Lucy was filled with anxiety.

Lucy Pevensie is jealous. Jealous of her bravery and how beautiful it makes her. Jealous of her poise and warrior like mindset. Jealous of her.

In some respects, it encourages Lucy to know that her friend would be quick to fight for her. That she would have nothing to fear if left with her friend to survive. But she wants to be able to take care of herself. She doesn't like the embarrassment of being weak and so she resents her friend for how strong she is, even if she doesn't show it on her face.

Much like Susan, if Y/n is indeed a Princess she would be gone. She'd leave to rule her country and then Lucy wouldn't be overshadowed as much anymore. It doesn't matter to her this means her protector of a friend would be gone. It only matters she would have more of a chance to prove herself. That she's not a wuss. Thus, she steps forward, eager for it to be her turn.

"I guess I'll go next," she says, moving closer to her sleeping friend. Before any of her siblings can stop her, she's grabbed Y/n's hand, hoping for something to make her feel better about herself.

Lucy finds herself watching a young girl cower outside the thick wood doors of the Pevensie's throne room. Her dress is immaculate, one fit for the coronation of a Queen, but Lucy can't imagine she would be Queen. Not of Narnia. And definitely not at such a young age. She looks as if she's the same age as when Lucy and her siblings first arrived in Narnia. A ripe young age, without the knowledge and experience needed for ruling a kingdom.

Yet she paces in front of the doors, nervously. Lucy can feel her panic. It radiates from her as strong as ocean waves. Her breathing is quick - despite the corset that wraps about her torso...or maybe because of it. She continually wipes her hands on her beautiful dress - the parts that have not been embellished. When she finally stops, Lucy catches sight of misty eyes.

"I can't do it," Lucy watches her mouth, but it doesn't move. She's listening to Y/n's self deprecating thoughts.

"I can't do it. I can't do this. I'm not them."

Them?

"They're gone," she wipes furiously at her eyes when she thinks this. "They're not coming back. You have to be brave, Y/n. The Narnians think you can do it." She pauses. "Or maybe they're desperate."

Suddenly Lucy understands. This is after the Golden Age. After she and her siblings went back to their lives - accidentally, of course. They threw her into this - without meaning to - and now, while coping with the loss of her family, she's supposed to be a strong leader.

The patter of feet have both Y/n and Lucy looking up. Mrs. Beaver appears around the curve, a wry smile on her face. Lucy guesses it's because the Narnians didn't want a new Queen. Not only is she stepping into a role she doesn't want, but the Narnians don't want her to have it either.

"How many people showed up?"

"All of them that we could fit," Mrs. Beaver reports. Lucy knew that Y/n wasn't huge on speeches - despite giving them anyway - and now she'd have to stand in front of hundreds of Narnians - who didn't want her there - and declare she was taking over their government.

"I don't want to do this,"

"Oh, dear, it's gonna be alright." Mrs. Beaver replies, stepping up to try and comfort the panicking girl. "We wouldn't be putting you in this situation if we didn't think you could do it."

"No one wants me to do it," she reminds her.

"But we need you," Y/n's face softens. "They need you to do this. They would want to know someone they can trust is ruling their country until they get back."

She sighs, nodding slowly. She squares her shoulders and lifts her head. "Then let's go."

Lucy steps back, stumbling just slightly, suddenly under the impression Y/n has had to be brave her whole life. She's gone through Hell and back and she's still just as gracious as a Queen. It also makes sense why she was so quick to hand the Pevensie's back their kingdom. She's been running all her life and when she finally got comfortable, it was taken from her.

Her circumstances taught her how to be strong. It's not that she's trying to overshadow Lucy. She just can't help herself. She learned to be strong to survive and she can't just switch that off.

Lucy looks up at her big brother, slowly climbing into his lap. She knows he can feel the hot tears that are wetting his neck, but she doesn't care. She feels awful for being jealous of Y/n. For trying to wish her away when she did so much for her country and her people while she was gone. She's endlessly guilty and will apologize for the rest of her life for all the things she said only to herself.