Family Matters I [SaiOuma/OumaSai] [Post-Game] [MattersAU] [COMPLETE]

Chapter Twelve - 'You Will Always Be My Grape'

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A/N: BIT OF A VENTING CHAPTER FOR ME SORRY!

TW/CW: Body Dymorphia, Stress/Anxiety-Induced Shouting, Bathing Cuddling/Comfort & Mild Nausea Mention Near The End.

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First of December quickly rolled around, and Kokichi felt like shit. Not like shit as in sick or anything, but felt like shit as in towards their own body. Sure, the supreme leader was a tough cookie most of the time - but they too had days where they had a breakdown. They just wished that today wouldn't be the case.

Hajime, Nagito, Kaede and Rantaro were all coming to visit Jabberwock for the Christmas holidays - so it should be a time where they felt extremely happy about seeing their best friend Rantaro and their childhood friend Nagito just like how Shuichi felt when learning that he would be seeing Kaede and Hajime.

Instead, they felt... nothing. They felt so disassociated from everyone and their own body. They didn't want to be part of their own body anymore. They couldn't look at their own male features and call themselves 'neutral' anymore. The worst thing was that they couldn't even look at their own boyfriend. Kokichi felt jealous that Shuichi could be so happy about his body, despite the changes happening to it that made him feel less of a man.

Sure, Kokichi often told him that he was the sexiest, most handsome man on the planet every single time! Yet Kokichi wished he could just be 'neutral' and not... a boy...

"Kokichi?" Shuichi whispered towards them, grabbing the grapes' attention. The supreme leader hadn't noticed that they started picking at the fabric of the chequered bandana they wore. They hadn't done that in ages, and it made the detective a bit concerned as he sat down beside them on the sofa. Kokichi didn't really respond, they didn't really face the detective beside them either.

Shuichi reached his hand out towards the grape slowly, giving an indication that he wasn't going anywhere. Kokichi only sighed, feeling tears appear in their eyes slowly. The supreme leader only grumbled before standing up off the sofa and started walking away from their partner. Shuichi just blinked in confusion before speaking once again,

"Kokichi? Are yo–"

"I AM FINE SAIHARA!" The supreme leader screamed at Shuichi frustratedly. The scream startled the poor detective, who only lowered his hand down onto the sofa itself. Kokichi didn't seem to care at this point, as they continued looking towards him with the most pained eyes you could imagine. Shuichi only stood up with a shaky sigh.

"It doesn't seem like it, love..." Shuichi said as delicately as he could without stuttering. He didn't move forward to Kokichi as if he did, it would most likely overwhelm the poor thing - but he couldn't help feeling as if he wanted to hold them close and protect them at all cost. Just like how they wanted to protect him.

"Leave me alone." Kokichi muttered coldly towards him - trying to scare him away, trying to get him to hate the supreme leader. At this point, they were just lying to themself as they didn't WANT the detective to leave.

"W-What?" Shuichi's eyes widened slightly after processing what he just heard them command.

"I SAID LEAVE YOU ASSHOLE!" Kokichi spat, pointing towards the front door of the cabin angrily. "WHY DON'T YOU LISTEN TO ME!?"

"Kokichi, I do listen to you!" Shuichi huffed, messing with his stained blonde hair so he could get it out of his eyes. He wanted to focus on the person he loved, to make sure they wouldn't do anything stupid.