right where you left me

Chapter 11 - Horrors, Hurts and Harms

14 Years Earlier

"Shh," Finn said to me, as we huddled beside each other in the closet.

"What's going on?" I shrieked, trying to stay calm but tears were streaming down my face. I was only eight. I had no idea what was happening. I had no idea why glass was smashing, or why Eden was crying.

"It's okay," Finn said, once more. "Just, close your eyes. Imagine we are at school. Imagine we are with your friends. Imagine we are with Ellie." Ellie: my best friend. My new best friend. I then closed my eyes, and drifted to sleep.

I woke up, a few hours later, with Mum inside her room, not letting Finn or I go see her, and Dad nowhere to be found.

"Hey," a voice then said. I turned around to see Eden. Her lip was bloody, and I could see bruises start to form on her wrists.

"Edie? What happened?" I asked her, going over to my sister, who I looked up to more than anything.

"Nothing, Tippy," she replied. "Let's get you to bed, shall we?" I touched her face softly, outlining her bloody lip. I could tell she was trying not to flinch. I could tell that she was trying so desperately to allow me to show her attention.

I loved Eden. She was the one who protected me to begin with. She was the one who always showed love. And that was her downfall. That was the beginning of her end.

Present

I woke up from a nightmare.

"You'll never have anyone, Tippah," he said to me. A voice I couldn't quite decipher. "You'll be alone. No one will love you. You can't be loved."

"You did this, Tippah," she said to me, in a voice I knew to be Eden's. "It's your fault I had to leave. It's your fault our family fell apart. If you just did what you were told to do, it would've been okay."

"Jesus christ," I said, sitting up in the bed, leaning against the frame. I grabbed the cup beside my bed. It was water (something I wasn't sure whether to be glad about or not.) I looked beside me to see her. Her blonde hair was messily laid on the pillow, as her eyes were still closed. I didn't wake her; I was glad. I didn't want to worry her.

Eden, I hadn't seen her in years. Why was she once again infiltrating my dreams? I wasn't sure. It all felt wrong. It all felt too coincidental.

"Hey," Leah soon said to me, stirring from her sleep and looking at me, drinking my water. "How long have you been up?"

"Not long," I replied, still staring straight ahead.

"You okay?" she asked, her London accent making me feel the best I'd felt all morning.

"Yeah," I replied, looking down at her, with a smile. I wasn't lying when I said these words because she did make me feel okay. She did make me feel as if the world wasn't trying to remind me of the horrors, and hurts, and harms.

"We should get up," she soon said. "There is training to get to." I looked at her, before kissing her softly. We both got out of bed, while it was still dark outside, changing into our gear, before heading out.

"Hey," Leah said to me, as we were driving to training. She always liked driving; I think she just likes being in control. "I was thinking..."

"Yeah..." I asked.

"Do you maybe, I don't know, want to- well- do you want to be my girlfriend? Like, make it official?"

"Hm, I'll have to think about that," I said. I tried keeping a straight face, but when I saw Leah, I couldn't help but burst out laughing.