right where you left me

Chapter 58 - Nerve

We headed down to Sydney and it would be England against Australia. It was expected to be the biggest clash of the tournament so far with TV viewership expecting to skyrocket. It was all meant to be.

But the headline of today's newspapers wasn't just about us. It was about him as well.

FINNIGAN JONES SENTENCED TO 20 YEARS; SISTER, TIPPAH JONES, PLAYING IN MAJOR SEMI-FINAL CLASH TONGITH

20 years.

Wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I thought he could get life.

From what I read, it was to do with the context. The abuse. The alcoholism. The childhood trauma. It let him off.

I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to talk to my brother. But at the same time, I never wanted to speak to him again. It was as if the world was now broken into two: my life before and my life after.

This was after.

After change.

I had a few missed messages from Leah, but I left them for the moment. I had to deal with the game; nothing more; nothing less.

Eden: darling! I've flown over w jill to sydney... imma be at ur game. Come find me.

I stared at the message, with a soft smile.

Tippah: thank u

Eden: what for?

Tippah: for coming.

Eden: of course id come x

I left my phone on my bed as I went downstairs to eat, sitting beside Ellie and Hayley. I watched as the girls' heads were filled with nerves but also excitement. There was a feeling in camp that was unlike any we had experienced before. We had a chance to do something incredible.

To win a semi-final at a home world cup.

It was all possible.

Anything was possible if we had enough nerve.

Bindi: ill be at the game! Gi is coming + the boys xx

Tippah: aww eden is going to be there too! Should i get u guys tickets together?

Bindi: not too much trouble?

Tippah: never!!

Bindi: that would be great! Thanks darling x

I sent them through my allocation of family tickets and was greeted with grateful messages from both of them. Although I don't think either of them has spoken to each other in months, and then before that: years, I was hoping things would change. We would need each other now.

It was us. It was her, me, and them.

I sat beside Ellie on the bus, with Hayley opposite us and Mary beside her. It was a calming trio to be surrounded by. They were level-headed and weren't getting inside their own minds. They were calm; knew what they were doing. I fed off that energy. I needed it.

"Say we were to win," I soon said. "That would just be crazy."

"I don't think I'd have words," Ellie replied.

"It would feel surreal," Hayley added.

"Do you think it's possible?" Mary asked.

"Anything is," Ellie replied.

"If we have enough nerve," I said this under my breath not wanting to draw attention to my comment. But I was scared.

I was scared about failing, failing under the pressure.

There was a nation wanting us to succeed, and another wishing for our failure. It felt so two-sided: no matter what we did someone would feel hurt. Someone's day would be ruined. Someone's life would fall to shreds.