right where you left me

Chapter 45 - Endure and Survive

I got back into the team for the Man City game just before the international break. I came on in the 60th minute and helped make a difference. We were down 1-0 and knew we had to win this match. We had to beat Man City if we wanted Champions League football next season. it was really a race between us and them to see who would get that third-place finish. If we won here, it would give us the boost we really needed.

As I sprung down the field, feeling a happiness I hadn't felt in many months, I knew I could make a difference. I dribbled the ball that Leah passed to me, and as I approached the top of the box, I curled it, bending around the Man City keeper and into the goal. I had equalised the game only 3 minutes into my return match. All the girls came around me, and so too did Leah. She didn't catch my eye, and instead, I felt her hand pat my back slightly.

"We keep going, okay?" she screeched to all of us as we returned to the center.

Katie scored another banger in the 74th and we ended up winning, by the skin of our teeth. It was a small margin, but it was a margin. We had done it.

Woso.forever: GUYS WHY DID TIPPAH AND LEAH NOT CELEBRATE!??!??!?! Why... whyyyyy?

Jilliansonlover: wait leah and tippah, they didn't even talk to each other.

Arsenalwfc123: um so i just looked and leahs mum unfollowed tippah... and so did alex scott...

Wsl.arsenal: HAVE THEY BROKEN UP!?!?! Plz no.

It was now international break, and we were set to verse Scotland and England. Arsenal didn't want to let me into Matildas camp, but they were more lenient as I wouldn't have to travel. I was glad; I didn't want to have to go back home. There were more struggles there than there were in London (and that was saying something.)

Over the past few weeks, I kept my distance from Leah. She didn't want to see me, and I understood that. I knew what I did was wrong, but some part of me ached for her. I knew I should come clean to her, but it would be difficult.

The worst part of this whole ordeal was I was still lying to her.

I didn't cheat on her. I could never do that. I would never be able to do that. That girl had my entire heart and more. I was just scared of what she would think if she knew the whole of it. I was scared that she knew about the drinking and the demons that lived inside of my head. It was better that she was away from me, thinking the worst than trying to console me, thinking the best.

I went into camp excited to play with my long-time teammates; the people I grew up with. I hadn't been a part of this team for a while, and I needed this. Needed the comfort that this team brought for me. I was 79 camps into my Matildas career, and I loved it more than I could imagine. I was 27 goals and 19 assists in those matches (which Sam always tells me is good but I then remind her of her own 60 goals and she laughs.)

Tony talked to me about what he expected out of this camp, mentioning that it's all about preparations for the World Cup, and before I could even ask, he assured me I would be on that plane, despite the previously broken leg.

"Thank you," I said to him.

"Are you okay, Tippah?" Tony then asked as I was about to walk out. "You haven't got that same... spark." He looked concerned. His eyes spoke a thousand words and his own sparkle always shines, despite his worry.

"As good as I can be, Tony." HE smiled softly, coming over to give me a short, and professional hug.

"If you need anything..."

"I will not ask, but thanks anyways." He chuckled and I headed out.

As I headed to my room, I looked up to see the comfort of home I once relied on.

"Hey," Ellie said. She had just come back from her own injury. ACL. She made it though. She came back.