right where you left me

Chapter 59 - I'm Home

"I'm sorry," I said to her, as we sat beside each other. We were situated in the middle of the pitch, my head resting on her shoulder.

"You have nothing to apologise for," she replied.

"But I do."

"You have so much going on Tipp."

"But you don't deserve this from me."

"Remember, babe, I'm here. For the highs and the lows."

"I really wanted to win," I said, through gritted teeth.

"I know." Her fingers interlocked with my own and there was something so comforting about her and me.

Leah and Tippah.

But there was also something wrong. Some things would never be right.

"You should go," I soon said to her. "Get back to your team."

"They aren't my team," she responded.

"But they are your family." She looked at me, slightly confused, before kissing my head and walking off. I felt her eyes look back but I didn't. I stayed sitting in the middle of the pitch dreaming about what could have been.

Dreaming about how life could have turned out.

A body came up behind me, a little while later. I wasn't sure how long I had been out here. The stadium lights were soon about to turn off (I know because security gave me only ten more minutes.)

"Tipp," a voice said. It was Ellie. "Come on. Let's go inside." She grabbed my hand, helping me up, and we walked, ever so slowly, back to reality. Back to the pain of heartache.

We knew there was a little more to fight for. We had an opportunity to place, and if we beat Sweden, we would bring home a bronze medal (or as some like to call it, rose gold.)

We traveled back up to Brisbane, whereas Leah and the rest of the English girls stayed in Sydney, getting ready to play their final against Spain. I was happy for my friends, and being so close to success, but it stung. It hurt more than I thought possible.

Bindi: we're going to come up for the game. Eden too xx

Tippah: you really dont have to

Bindi: we want to!!

Tippah: okay. Thanks xx

I sat next to Ellie on the plane. Her presence was calming; comforting; normal. I liked what we had now. It was no longer awkward, or weird; the silences were filling not deafening. We went back to our old ways but in a new manner. It wasn't me and her like it used to be. It was her and me: different, new.

In Brisbane, we had only one day to train before playing the 3rd place playoff on Saturday. Once again, all of Australia would be watching, and it sent shivers down my body, and through my veins. I felt the immense pressure of a country, but it was good pressure.

The Friday night, before the last game of the tournament, I walked along the beach, trying to soak up one of my last sunsets in Australia. I wouldn't be staying long after the tournament was over. I wanted to get back to London. Arsenal were supposedly giving us a few weeks off, but I didn't want it. Football would always bring out the happiness in me that I needed.

A happiness I couldn't find anywhere else.

I sat on the edge of the beach, my feet digging into the sand, as the ocean breeze swept over my face. There was something so calming about the wind, and the purple skies. I would miss this. I would always miss the Australian land.

As I felt my body relax, my phone rang.

Once.

Twice.