right where you left me

Chapter 6 - Lighthouse

Two Months Earlier

I was sitting in my apartment, a drink in my hand and a palm on my heart. My breathing was going back down to normal but the only comfort I had was the glass I was holding on so tight. I knew that if I stood up, I would be dizzy. I knew that if I tried to walk, it would most likely end up with me throwing up.

I heard a knock on the door behind me.

"Tippah?" Ellie called.

"What?" I asked, not wanting to let her in.

"Can I come in?" she asked.

"No," I responded. But she didn't listen, and instead budged me out of the door. I hadn't wanted to see her recently, especially after the break up.

"Jesus Christ, Tipp," Ellie said, as she saw the state that I was currently in.

"What?" I replied, not able to control my words.

"Come on," Ellie said, trying to get me to stand up. She had seen me at my worst before. She had seen me drunk before, and knew how to handle it, but this time was different. We weren't together.

"No," I said.

"Tipp, don't make me force you up," Ellie said.

"Ell, just go," I said, pushing her off me.

"Tippah..."

"Stop!" I said. "Just stop." Ellie looked at me, before walking away and grabbing a wet cloth from the kitchen, and placing it against my forehead.

"You can't keep doing this to yourself," she soon said.

"Doing what?" I replied.

"Getting drunk. We have a game tomorrow."

"I know."

"Well, Tipp, we need to figure out a way this can stop." I knew that it was happening too often. I wanted to stop but there was something about the warmth alcohol brought me that was unlike anything else.

"We need to not do anything," I replied. I knew I was saying everything wrong but what do people always say: drunk words are sober thoughts.

"Tippah, I can't keep doing this," Ellie then said. As I looked at her, a small tear came down her cheek.

"You don't have to do anything." She looked at me, trying so hard to be good. Trying so hard to be strong. But I knew I was breaking her, and I hated myself for that. That's why we broke up to begin with, but I knew she felt a level of responsibility and I hated myself for that.

"Okay," Ellie said. "Okay Tipp. Alright." Ellie handed me the cloth before standing up. "I'm not going to put myself in a position where I have to fight you when you're like this. But Tippah, one day, this is going to hurt you, not just me." She then walked out the door.

Before I could say anything, my eyes soon started to close. I felt my body lean against the door, and I was out.

"TIPPAH!" a voice soon called, shaking my body. "Tippah! Wake up!" But I couldn't wake up. My eyes weren't opening. I heard her voice, but I couldn't tell her that. I could hear the American speak, but that was it.

I didn't remember much after that.

I woke up later, in a hospital bed, hooked up to an IV. As I looked around, I saw Cat sitting there.

"Thank goodness," Cat said, coming over to me.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Alcohol poisoning," Cat answered, holding my hand, and looking at me.