right where you left me

Chapter 9 - Lighting Her Up

"You getting on?" the bus driver asked me. I looked at him, thinking to myself. Should I be getting on? Should I be leaving?

"No," I replied. "Wrong service."

He nodded his head, and drove away. I stared in front of me, looking at the road. This wasn't right. I knew what I was doing wasn't right. I shouldn't be running away. I shouldn't be getting scared. She was good for me, and I- well, maybe I wasn't good for her, but I was enough, and surely that's enough.

I walked back towards the stadium, not knowing what I was doing. I sat under a tree, just waiting. I saw the masses of people leave through the gates, all elated that their team had won the cup. It was the first trophy England has lifted in a long time. They needed it, and I was proud of Leah, more so than I had realised at first.

After a while, I saw her walk out.

"Hey," she said, half walking, half running over to me. She had changed into her England track suit, her hair wet after having showered.

"Hey," I answered.

"I saw you leaving and- why?" She looked at me, her big eyes staring deep into mine.

"I- nothing. It was just crowded in there. Needed some fresh air. I was going to wait out here anyways." I saw her eyebrows soften, and her heart settle.

"Good," she replied. Grabbing my hand. She looked around, wanting to probably make sure no one saw.

"What's the looking for?" I asked, laughing.

"Just wanting to make sure no one was around," she answered.

"Leah, after that day in London, I'm pretty sure we ain't no secret." We both chuckled, and I moved closer towards her, my arms going up behind her neck.

"I'm glad then," she responded. "I'm not big into secrets." She looked at me as she said this, and something in my heart plunged. Secrets were a part of my life. My life was a big blunder of secrets which I hated. I hated that. But I couldn't help it. If she knew the truth, we wouldn't be the same, ever again.

"I'll keep that in mind," I responded, smiling, trying to defer to the conversation. Thankfully, she did, by kissing me softly, and yet hard at the same time. It was passionate, forceful, and strong, all of which grew my connection to Leah Williamson in ways I could've only imagined only a few weeks earlier.

When all the girls returned from international break, we started to prepare for the Champions League. Our quarterfinal line up was confirmed to be Wolfsburg. We knew they were going to be a hard team; Wolfsburg always was. They had strength in that team too with the likes of Alex Popp, Jill Roord, Lena Oberdorf and Mila Bakker. It would be difficult, we all knew that.

But before any of that could happen, we had a Champions League media day. We had our photos done for promos, and were set to do videos.

"Now, we need four volunteers for the Inside Out episode," the media coordinator said to us, after we had all had our photos done.

"Steph!" Katie called. "You and me, yeah?"

"I would be honoured, McCabe," Steph called, grabbing Katie's hand and walking over to the media coordinator.

"We also maybe want one of the new players, so Laura, Rafaelle or Tippah?" the media coordinator said.

"Tipp and I will," Leah said, looking at me.

"Great," the media coordinator replied. "Come with me."

Leah and I were handed two whiteboards, before sitting down in front of the camera.