Perfect Illness || lookism x reader

27. Rebirth pt2

when he falls harder >>>

When Johan got up in the morning, he was shocked. He was in a completely new place he had never seen before. It was a pitiful room, although it was very neat, there was a heavy lair of dust on everything except the most commonly used areas like the grounded mattress he was sitting on. The living area was devoid of anything except bare necessities. As he glanced down at himself, he glimpsed the sterile white bandage wrapping around his midriff, and the memories of the past night returned to him. Shakily, Johan rose from the mattress, expecting some pain. But there was none. What? He definitely remembered the horrid crack of his ribs, and YN's ghostly face rose in her memory, along with the ghost of an intense burning feeling like his insides were melting. He winced, but there was no pain.

He reached to remove the bandage to provide some explanation for the phenomenon, but he glimpsed a note on the dresser nearby.

I left to go to school, the note read. I left some fruits nearby (because I didn't have time to prepare anything), but feel free to help yourself to anything in the fridge or in the house at all. I also left money if you want to go buy something. Don't take a shower yet though, wait until I get back so that I can change your bandages afterwards. When you get up and see this, text me your address and anything you want from your place of residence so I can go get it. But please, please, come back and please don't go outside of central seoul.

"Mm she sounds a little desperate." Johan noted to himself. Even the piece of paper that YN had lingered on for a maximum of five minutes was making him smile. His cheeks hurt. He wasn't used to the action. There was a phantom pain in his heart that had nothing to do with injury.

After the previous night, Johan's feelings for YN had become painstakingly clear. He loved her in the way that he would never love anyone again. He didn't care if she didn't love him back, but as his life had flashed before his eyes as he stepped in front of that knife, he wasn't thinking about getting out. He was happy that she would live. After I fix my mom's eyes, Johan thought, i'll give her a normal life like she wanted. When YN had asked him about his future, what he had wanted to say was: I don't want to imagine a future without you or my mom. I don't have any ideas where to go, but if you're with me I'm sure we'll figure it out. Together.

Johan thought about YN's strong aversion to his gang life. What had she repeatedly said? There are other ways to do this. But the previous night she also said: You are proceeding in the way you think is best. Johan decided to see it as YN condoning his job. Speaking of jobs... Johan jumped up then grunted in pain. A beaded line of blood appeared on the bandaid. His fingers itched to remove the bandage and see the damage, but he decided not to incur YN's wrath.

Goddamn he really wanted to see her.

He reached for his phone, his fingers hovering over the keyboard as he contemplated what to say. He always overthought when texting her.

Johan: I'm upp

He tossed the phone away, and buried his face in the sheets, hiding his blush. Was the second p too much? He lay for a few moments, thinking. After a few minutes he lunged for his phone again.

Johan: I miss you

He nearly chucked it across the room. YN hadn't even read the previous message yet. Am I too desperate? He wondered, miming screaming into the blanket. His fingers itched to see if she had responded, but he controlled himself.

Then he gave in, lunging for the phone to type one more taunting message.

Johan: Haha you really thought I would stay?