Perfect Illness || lookism x reader

52. Never was Much of a Romantic

idk why I get the most prolific with this ff when it's exam season... also, new pfp (mine, not the cover)!

Thoughts of Jiho in prison and Gun brought someone to her mind. Someone she missed more than she thought possible. The only person who would ever truly understand her, and she was well aware of it.

I need to visit Jake before Gun stops me from that too.

***

"Jerry, I want to see Jake."

"YN? What are you doing here?"

"I can't stand it anymore; I want to see him."

"You know he doesn't want you to see him like that."

"I don't give a shit about what he wants." She grabbed his large hand with a pleading look on her face. "Please Jerry, please."

Jerry regarded her with a solemn expression. "Well, I know he wants to see you no matter what he says... but–"

"Great! Can we go now?"

"Now??"

"Please?" She clasped her hands together pouting. She knew damn well Jerry wouldn't refuse her anything unless it would endanger Jake. And Jake wanted to see her right?

***

The sight and smell of the prison immediately sickened her. Jerry made sure to protectively keep her on his side opposite from the open prison field where the juvenile delinquents roamed. The entire aura of the place was threatening, sending suppressed prickles down her spine. She had taken her pills (deciding that she didn't want to die), but now she wish she hadn't. The desire to survive was tugging away at her gut, pleading to send chemicals through her body. She never wanted to be here again. She wished Jake wasn't here.

She perched anxiously on the edge of the plastic chair, waiting for him. The sick leaden feeling in her stomach wouldn't go away. Finally he stepped in, all six feet and four inches. He had changed since she last saw him, with buzzed hair and a long scar across his mouth. She rested her fingers lightly on the fiberglass separating them, imagining trailing them across the scar.

"Does it hurt?" she whispered anxiously into the communication phone.

Jake rested his hand against the glass on the other side of her own. "Not anymore." He forced a grin. "New teeth."

YN felt her nose prickle with tears. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be. I missed you Ace. Life here isn't so bad, everyone likes me."

"How could they not? I've missed you too Jake. So much."

"Your friend came in, you know? Jiho?"

"He's hardly a friend, he almost killed two people."

"I gave him some advice."

YN raised an eyebrow.

"Your advice. Fight till the end and there's no way you can lose."

"I'm a little worried with what Jiho will do with that. He's not exactly a moral person."

"Trust me, Ace. And trust yourself."

YN's heart immediately shattered. "Jake... I should've stayed with you from the beginning, or when Gun came, or when I knew you needed me. I'm so sorry... I ran away like always, I should be in there with you–"

"-YN. Ace. Stop blaming yourself. You made a choice, and I made mine." He rested his forehead against the glass, beckoning her closer, so they were touching foreheads if it wasn't for the glass between them, so he could speak with a lowered voice. "And Sinu made his. We're the only people that know this, but he didn't want you to have this life. The life of being illegal, doing horrible things. Jailworthy things. I don't want you to have this life. He won't blame you for anything. I don't blame you for anything." He shook his head and pulled away. "We just absorbed God Dog."