CHAPTER 1

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"NOBODY HAD EVER MASTERED THE ART OF LETTING GO"


''I don't have the chance to say this but I'm proud of what you have achieved and accomplished. I'm the happiest when all of our conversation regarding our career plans are slowly turning into reality. I will pray your success and please continue chasing for your dreams. Know that, I will always be happy for your future achievements.''

Inayos ko ang aking paghiga habang pinipigilan ang mga luhang pilit lumalabas sa'king mga mata.

''I may not know your reasons why you turn your back on me but whatever it is, I forgive you even if it hurts a lot.

To leave and decide not to see you again is too painful thinking those times you're here with me, here by my side I'm use to it but I need to do it, I need to close this chapter of my life for me to start over. If ever when our paths may cross in the future, Ibhope we could say 'hello' without hesitation. I wish you well, take care my love.''

Hindi ko na napigilan ang mga luhang kanina pa nagbabadyang lumabas, malaya itong naglakbay sa'king mukha.

I'm reading the messages that I send 3 years ago and I didn't receive response, as I expected. It's been almost 4 years since we've broke up, hell 4 years! But I'm still in the process of what they called moving on. Am I? Am I moving on? Hindi ko magawa, hindi ko magawang burahin ang mga ala-ala namin... mga masasayang ala-ala na binuo namin ng magkasama. Those memories... those days that I felt ecstasy, those memories are flashing back in my head.

How can I even move on? If our fuckin' memories keep on hunting me everynight, everyday, everytime!

I'm disturbed by the b*tches who freely entered my room without my permission.

''Hey Azh, morning! wake up!'' maligayang bati ni Alli sa'kin

Inismidan ko sya bago sumagot ''wake up? I didn't even feel asleep at...'' tumigil ako sa pagsasalita para lingunin sila ''At pwede ba? kumatok muna kayo bago pumasok!''

Alli opened the window dahilan para ma iirita ako sa sunlight coming from it.

''Alli!'' singhal ko sa kanya

''Shed light dear'' she said then tumabi kay Xy na nasa couch

''Azh, come on! stop thinking about your stupid ex!'' sigaw ni Xy sa'kin na kanina pa busy, clicking her phone.

''Hindi mo kailangang sumigaw!'' sigaw ko pabalik sa kanya.

''You need it para magising ka! stop being miserable, while locking yourself in this room, stop isolating yourself!'' paninirmon ni Xy sa'kin

''Uso move on beh!'' dagdag pa niya at umirap sa'kin.

''Ang h-hirap, akala mo ba madali lang yang pinapagawa mo!''

''Azh, we're just concern to your physical and mental health you dont deserve this!'' ani ni Alli na may halong pagaalala sa tinig nya, kitang-kita ko rin ang awa sa mga mata nya.

I understand them, I didn't take care of myself anymore palagi akong puyat, mugtok ang mata kakaiyak, nagkukulong sa kwarto, nakakalimutan ko na rin pati ang pagkain sa tamang oras. Sino ba naman kasi ang hindi masasaktan sa pitong taon? For Pete's sake! 7 f*cking years? yung mga ala-ala, yung mga bagay na palagi naming ginagawa, yung mga pinupuntahan namin, yung mga pangarap naming dalawa na akala ko sabay naming aabutin akala ba nila ganun yun kadaling kalimutan?

"Azh it doesn't matter how hard the sh*t is! how deep and terrible it feels because keeping that shit locked inside you will always feels so much worse than letting it out! " sermon ni Xy sa'kin habang inaayos ang mga kalat sa sahig, wala rin akong ganang maglinis sa ngayon.

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