A Glimmer of Hope
Pagkatapos ng nakakapagod na araw gusto ko nalang ipikit ang mga mata ko at gumising sa susunod na taon, hoping that year would be nice to me.
I’m lying on my bed inaalala ang mga nangyari. Ang sakit, ang sakit-sakit parin pala pero wala akong ibang magawa kun’di ang iiyak nalang lahat ng sakit na nararamdamn ko.
Crying can't generate solution nor lessen the situation I am facing right now, but this is the only way I know to let this over flowing emotions of mine before it could even burts.
Nasa kalagitnaan ako ng pag-iyak when I hear someone knocking on my door.
“Tinatamad akong tumayo, ano ba! Pagod ako pwede ba kung sino man yang kumakatok palayasin nyo nalang Lord at saka Im about to sleep na, itutulog ko nalang lahat ng sakit.” I murmured.
I just rolled my eyes and wipe my tears. Kahit labag man sa kalooban ko pinilit ko ang sariling bumangon para buksan ang pinto. Who the hell is this? napaka-disturbo.
I opened na door at iniluwa no'n si Xy at Alli, wearing their smiles.
"What?"
"Anong what?" Alli confusedly look at me
"What are you doing here? anong kailangan nyo?"
"Dami mong sabi papasokin mo nga muna kami" Ani ni Xy at hinawi ang kamay ko para makadaan papasok, they both sit at the sofa. Nakaka-irita ang pag disturbo nila sakin ng gantong oras but they're presence somewhat made my suffering heart smile.
"Did I welcome you?" Taas kilay’ng tanong ko
"Bakit hindi ba kami welcome dito?" tinaponan ako ng tingin ni Xy at kinuha ang remote ng tv.
"Ano ngang kailangan nyo? why are you here?"
"I don't know jan kay Xy bigla nalang me pinuntahan sa house at hinila papasok sa car nya" Alli explained while chewing puff corns na hindi ko naubos kanina.
"Xy?" tinaasan ko sya ng kilay
"What? I just want to play video games." she says ng hindi man lang ako nililingon.
"Video games? In the middle of the night?"
"What’s wrong with that, Azh? huh? Linggo naman bukas, wala tayong duties." Ani nya, while busy clicking the remote control.
"Ayaw kong maglaro ng video games." Walang ganang sagot ko habang nakatayo pa rin sa harap nila
"Ah, ganon ba." nilingon nya ako "What about movie marathon?" She said while smiling. She's trying harder.
"Ano bang nakain nyo? ayaw kong mag movie marathon!" hindi ko pag sang-ayon ulit.
"Really? Kahit pa sabihin ko sayong I have pirated copy of your favorite movie na sa susunod na buwan pa ipapalabas?" she smirk.
My face lighten up after hearing those words.
"S-seryoso? How did you get that?" napa kunot noo ako, Im also looking for pirated copy ng favorite movie ko pero wala akong nahanap.
"Let's just say I exchanged my exclusive vedio games for this copy" ani nya at nilabas ang hawak nyang CD player
"Weh?" Alli interfer "Hindi ba't you’r making exclusive video games as collection?" same question Alli.
"Oo, pero masyado na silang marami, e," Xy answered her, nagkibit balikat lang si Alli since she's not interested with this stuffs.
"Why did you do that?" Lumapit ako sa kanila para umupo sa bakanteng space sa sofa.
Xy shrugged her shoulders "Bakit nga ba? Uh, dahil gusto ko ’tong panuorin"
"Liar! hindi ka naman mahilig sa ganyang movies eh! I know you, Xy." I disagreed
Humagalpak naman sya ng tawa "Ok haha your right, my bad. Wrong reason, Xy!" sambit nya na para bang kinakausap ang sarili nya.
"tell me why did you do that?"
Tiningnan nya ako ng seryoso bago bumuga ng hangin at nagsalita.
"Fine.. I know— i know you've been through a lot of things this past few months and you aren't fully healed from the sh*ts that keeps on drowning you, you can't fool us, tsk. Alam kong naaapektuhan ka pa rin till now, tang*na! marupok ka kasi at tatanga-tanga but I-I can't just look at you like that... ayaw kitang makitang nagpapaka-miserabli because of that stupid moth*r f*cking guy, I wanna remind you that we are here. Gusto ka naming samahan, gusto ka naming damayan." she explained at inirapan ako, I can see the sincerity in her eyes, lumingon ulit sya sa'kin then she gave me a smile that makes my heart soft.
Xy isn't that sweet, she's so harsh nga sa'min lalo na kay Alli but even she's always acting like that, I know she cares for us.
"Hala eh? Why ang sweet mo yata now? What ang na eat mo today? Are struck by a kidlat? Kasi if not isa ata itong miracle!!" pagtatangis ni Alli.
Tiningnan ni Xy ng masama si Alli bago nagsalita "Shut the f*ck up! I’m not! And should never be describe as sweet piece of sh*t, cringe! Wala ’yun sa lahi namin at wala ’yun sa bokabolaryo ko! I just.. I just can't— argg! just shut the f*ck up! kahit kailan bwesit ka talaga!" sigaw ni Xy kay Alli at binatukan ito.
"O-ouchh!— ano ba! Oo na shit mo naman." inirapan sya ni Alli at bumaling sa'kin habang hawak-hawak pa rin ang batok nya "Xy's right, Azh, you can always count on us." Ani nya ta nginitian ako.
"At sana.. please lang itigil mo na ang pagiging marupok mo at wag kanang mag pakatanga, tsk. Babae, kung alam mo lang ang sarap mong ibalibag, I swear." Sabi ni Xy at lumamon ng puff corn.
"Arayy... Puta! gago ka ba Alli?" inis na singhal nya ng mabilaukan sya dahil binatukan sya ni Alli.
"Mas gago you! We're here nga para pagaanin ang heart ni Azhy! Why mo ibabalibag? Binabawi ko na ang mga sinay ko kanina! wala ka talagang ka-sweet-an sa body." Sigaw ni Alli sa tenga nya.
Mag gagantihan pa sana sila ng magsalita ako.
"Actually, I decided to really moved on. Seryoso, totoo na 'to. I want to forget him, everything about him and get a rid on this f*ckn feelings na nakakulong pa rin sa puso ko. Kakalimutan ko na talaga sya, final na'to. At tama kayo guys when you've said na parang sini-set up nila ang lahat, sa tingin ko nga rin. And their goal is to hurt me p-pero I won't let them drag me again to the point that Im dying, hindi na ako papayag na mangyari ulit yun. Thank you, thank you so much Xy at Alli, napagaan nyo ang loob ko I gained more courage now. Im really bless to have you both" puno ng emotion na sagot ko
"Tsk. Good thing you wake up."
"What are you planning to do now, Azh? Eh continue mo pa rin ba ang pag ganap sa movie na minake ng lola mo? O aatras na you for your own good?" Alli ask.
"Ipagpapatuloy ko ’yun kasi importante ’yun para kay lola b-but this time hindi na ako papayag na paglaruan ulit nila ang nararamdaman ko. They're trying to make me play the game they've already set, then, playing it well will be my way of winning. I'll make sure ako ang mananalo sa dulo."
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