Bridges and Boundaries
After I signed all the papers I head my way pauwi sa bahay, balak ko kasing ipasyal ang anak ko at bigyan sya ng mas maraming oras ngayon.
I grow up not having the attention that I need as a child and I don’t want my child to experience the same thing. I want the best for her, I want her to experience all the things that I never experience before. As someone who suffered a lot in a very young age, I want to stand as her barrier and her wall against every one who will cause her pain, I want to protect her at all cost.
Nang makarating ako sa loob ng compound namin agad akong bumaba ng kotse at pumasok sa loob ng bahay. Bumungad sa akin si Szhen na naglalaro sa may dining area.
“Baby zhen!” tawag ko sa kanya habang naglalakad pa punta sa direksyon nya.
“mwamy” she exclaimed at gumapang papunta sa akin.
“Hello baby” pagkarating ko sa kinaroroonan nya ay kinarga ko agad sya.
“Mom?”
“Yes anak? Nandito ako sa kusina, nagluluto” sagot ni mama
Naglakad agad ako papunta sa kusina.
“Mom lalabas muna kami ni baby Szhen, ipapasyal ko lang” pagpapaalam ko.
“Sige anak, mag-ingat kayo” paalala ni mama.
“Bye mom ali na kami, babalik kami agad” nagpaalam na ako at lumabas na ng bahay habng karga-karga si baby Szhen.
Nang makarating kami sa kotse ko ay inilagay ko agad si Szhen sa safety courier na nasa front seat at ini-lock ang safety belt ng sasakyan. Umikot ako para sumakay sa drivers seat at nagsimula ng magmaneho papunta sa parke.
Nang makapasok kami sa parke ay naghanap agad ako ng space ku na pweding pag-parking-an. Nang makahanap ako ng spot ay agad akong bumaba at kinarga si Szhen.
“Does my baby want to play?”
“Yesh, pwey!” she exclaimed
Ibinaba ko si Szhen ng makarating kami sa may bench ng park. Agad naman itong tumakbo sa may bandang slide na kung saan may mga bata ring naglalaro, hinayaan ko lang syang maglakad-lakad. Ang cute ng batang ’to, I never thought na magiging isa sa pinakamagandang tanawin ang makita syang nakangiti at masaya.
I enjoyed watching Szhen interacting with other kids na ka-edad nya lang when someone sit besides me. Hindi ko pinansin o pinag-abalahang tingnan kung sino ang umupo sa tabi ko dahil public place naman ang lugar na ito.
“You looked so happy” ani ng taong nasa tabi ko, I was stunned hearing that voice.
“Wayde? Why are you here?” I ask as confusion imprints my face.
“Namamasyal lang, unwinding” he replied.
“Nag ah unwind sa parke?” I ask again, not believing him.
“Watching random kids having fun is such a stress reliever tho” he replied.
“ Yuh, you’re right.” I said and get my sight back on Szhen who’s still playing with random kids.
This is weird but now I don’t feel nervous, awkward or any sense of tense between us. I feel like we’re both at ease and comfortable with each other.
“What’s her name?” he ask out of nowhere.
“Szhen” I replied and gave him a glance.
He nodded as response.
We sit with an ease on the bench, he’s enjoying in watching the kids while I’m watching my child gracefully playing and laughing with the other kids. We sit there for almost half an hour when baby Szhen run in my direction. I immediately carry her.
“What’s wrong baby? Are you tired already? You want to go home na?” I ask while wiping her sweats away and checking her back. She do really sweats a lot, manang-mana sa tatay nya.
“No, I want dwink! Aym twirsty mwamy” bulol-bulol na sabi nya while she is blinking her eyes, kitang-kita ang mga azul nyang mata na mas lalong kumikinang ng dahil sa sinag ng araw. God didn’t fail to make a beautiful angel. How I wish Wayde would not notice her eyes na para bang replika lang ng mga mata ni Wayde.
“Oh, you’re thirsty already. I forget to bring your milk baby let’s try to find some water in the convinience store instead” I smile at her while I’m fixing her hair.
“I want to drink some coffee, I’ll find a coffee shop. I might passed through a convience store, I can buy her some water” Wayde intrude on our conversation.
“Ah, no thanks. Ako na ang bibili, tubig lang din naman” I declined his offer and gave him a smile.
“I insist” he stood up and started to walk.
He leave me no choice, so I waited for him to come back. As we were sitting on the bench Szhen started to show symptoms of boredom, she is being impatient again. Kabata-bata pa at na adapt na talaga ang isa sa mga not too pleasant attitude ko, sa dinami-rami ba namang mabubuting pag-uugali ang pwede nyang makuha sa akin eh ang pagiging ma-inip-in pa talaga ang na mana nya. Hindi na ako magtataka, talagang anak ko nga talaga.
“Mwamy, I’m twirsty alwedy” she complains, hondi na napigilan at nagreklamo na nga.
“Baby, someone is already buying water for us. Can we wait for a little while?” I ask her with a soft tone and full of patience.
She didn’t respond and hug me. I think she’s already sleepy.
Minute passed Wayde finally get back with two cups of coffee and a water on his hands.
Agad nya namang inabot sa akin ang tubig na binili nya at umupo ng makarating sya sa upuan namin. I open the bottle of water at ipina-inum kay Szhen na kanina pa nababagot at nauuhaw.
“Where did you bought this?”
“D’yan lang sa may convinient store” he response
“I doubted, this is the only brand that I’m purchasing for Szhen” I disagree.
“I have heard na may malapit na trusted baby store, their products are highly recommended so I bought it there.”
“Are you kidding me? That store is like 10 meters away from here”
“It’s fine, atleast that water is safe”
Agad namang bumaba si Szhen mula sa pagkakabuhat ko pagkatapos nyang maka-inum ng tubig na para bang fully charge na sya ulit at ready ng maglaro.
Nang makatakbo si baby Szhen pabalik sa pinaglalaruan nya kanina ay iniabot agad sa akin ni Wayde ang kapeng dala-dala nya kanina na binili nya kasama ng tubig na ininum ni Szhen.
“This is not a brazil cerado but I hope you’ll still like it. Natagalan ako kasi nag hanap ako ng coffee shop na hindi too bland ang timpla ng kape dahil hindi ka mahilig sa matatabang na kape.” he explained
I was hesitant but I still accept the coffee.
“Thanks” I respond as I grab the coffee on his hands.
Itinaas nya ang kapeng hawak nya bago humigop dito.
Ayaw ko sana ’tong tanggapin pero I can’t really say no to coffee. Kahit hindi ito ang paborito kong kape ay malayo palang natatakam na ako, na para bang hindi ako nakakainum ng kape sa loob ng ilang taon. Kung may love potion man po ito Lord, sa tingin ko ay papayag din naman akong magayuma ni Wayde ulit.
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