It's been an entire month since the cannibalism incident, but the Agency has yet to take a break. The Ministry of Justice recently bestowed upon the agency a trophy to recognize all we did to save Yokohama from the Guild. Yeah, I know, they're a little late, but it's the thought that counts. Either way, having that award displayed in the President's office makes him very proud. It has an effect on everyone actually. We are all hyper-aware that we now have the world's attention on us. The whole team has been on their best behavior, and doing some of their best work. Atsushi has even gone so far as to get Kunikida to train him. I kind of feel bad for the guy. I mean, I've been there, and let me tell you, it's not pretty. But with the deal he made with Akutagawa always hanging over his head, Atsushi knows he has no time to waste. Atsushi needs to learn that he can't always rely on his tiger ability. There comes a time when you have to trust your own strength above all. I thought I was done learning that, but apparently not. I've somehow found myself back under Kunikida's watchful eye. He asked me to serve as an example for Atsushi, and I agreed. I would do anything to help Atsushi. But I'm slowly starting to learn that when Kunikida said "use me as an example" he really meant "show me no mercy." I've lost count of how many times he has thrown me onto the ground and said something along the lines of:
"See Atsushi? That's exactly what NOT to do."
It's really starting to get on my nerves honestly. One of these days I'm going to go off on Kunikida, but for now, I'm just grateful for the distraction. I have still yet to step foot back in my own apartment... I've been staying at Dazai's place ever since the incident. Every day I think, 'This is the day. I'm finally going to go back home,' but then the night sets in and I feel the fear slowly creeping back into my heart. It seeps into the depths of my mind and taints my dreams with terror. Every night, I'm forced to re-live the moment Nekori died. Over. And over. And Over. The nightmares make me toss and turn all night. A few times, I've even screamed and thrashed about in my sleep. The only thing that makes me calm down is the secure feeling of Dazai's arms wrapped tightly around me. I feel so guilty for keeping Dazai and my furry friends awake at night. I just don't know what else to do. I thought training with Kunikida again would give me some of my confidence back, but obviously, that is not the case. The only thing training helps with is tiring me out enough to get some sleep at night. Beggers can't be choosers I suppose.
But none of that matters, because today is the day. I'm going back to my apartment, and I mean it this time. My boss has graciously allowed me the past month to deal with my mourning period. Now it's time I get back to work. The only problem is... my uniform is in MY closet at MY apartment. So today has got to be the day. I don't really have a choice. Creed, Lucky, and I are on our way to my apartment right now. If I'm being completely honest, I'm walking as slowly as possible. A few times, I stop at some random food truck or other vendors along the way. I don't REALLY need to buy anything... I just want to avoid the inevitable for as long as possible. Creed is very aware of this fact, for each time I stop I feel him yanking on the hem of my skirt, pulling me along.
When we finally reach my apartment building, I have successfully wasted at least two hours. As I walk through the front doors into the lobby, I have to mentally pump myself up to keep going. 'Come on Kagami,' I tell myself, 'You can do this!' With the support of my furry companions, I convince myself to get on the elevator. But I soon regret my decision. As the big metal doors begin to slide shut in front of me, I realize there's no turning back now. This is really happening. A big lump forms in my throat. My heart rate starts to accelerate, and my breathing becomes more rapid. Cold, clammy perspiration forms on the inside creases of my palms as I watch the numbers on the elevator rise.
Ding!- 1...
'I don't know if I can do this.'
Ding!- 2...
YOU ARE READING
Part of Your World {A Bungo Stray Dogs fanfic}
FanficAtsushi wasn't completely alone in that dreadful orphanage. He had a friend named Kagami. She was the only person he liked in that place. She made it a little bit less terrible and had this way of calming him down. This is the story of Kagami's jour...
