"It's pretty hard to get pregnant this way" Lando said as he was holding the pills between his fingers. I could lie and tell him they were old but he wouldn't believe that. I haven't been on birth control since I was pregnant with Luna so it made no sense.
Instead of lying, I said nothing. I just closed the door behind me and sighed.
He chuckled and threw them to me. "We've been trying for months while you just been on birth control the entire time" he raised his voice but he didn't move. He was just sitting on the chair while looking at me.
He was waiting for an explanation and I was about to give it to him.
"Yeah because I don't want this at all. You never asked what I wanted. You just assumed. You assumed I wanted this too" I raised my voice as well.
"I want to concentrate on my career and our relationship. When was the last time you kissed me? When was the last time we just had fun together? When was the last time you told me you loved me?" I was mad, but I could also feel the tears in my eyes.
He didn't respond, he knew it was true. "You know I love you very much babe" he said softly. "Do you think I would want a child with someone I didn't love?" He got up and walked to me. I put my hand up, telling him not to come any closer.
For once he actually listened to me, because he stopped walking.
"Is this how you treat someone you love?" I didn't want to start crying but I couldn't hold my tears back anymore.
I could feel how the tears were falling down my face. Lando took another step closer. "Stop please" I said as I took a step back.
I knew he would hug and kiss me and I would forgive him. I didn't want to forgive him, not yet. I don't know if I ever wanted to forgive him.
"I need time to myself and so do you. Please figure out what you want. Another baby or me because you can't have both" I said as I walked to the door. I finally had the balls to say it.
I loved Luna very much, but I wasn't ready for another baby at all, not now and maybe never.
As soon as I walked out of his room and closed the door behind me, I could hear him curse. I was hoping it would be an easy decision but I guess not.
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"Another one please" I said as I pointed at my glass. I was sitting in the bar of the Red Bull hotel. I had no where to go so I decided to drink.
Not the smartest idea, but I couldn't care less. "She has enough" someone said as he grabbed the glass in front of me. "What are you doing? I was drinking that" I said as I looked behind me.
Max sat down next to me and titled his head to look at me.
"How much did you drink already?" He asked. I shrugged my shoulders. It wasn't any of his business but I actually couldn't remember either.
"Where is Lando?" He looked around. Was he really thinking he was sitting here somewhere?
"Probably finding someone to impregnate" I chuckled.
Max didn't think it was funny because he just rolled his eyes and grabbed my hand. "Okay let's go to bed, you have to make me win remember?" I got up and walked with him.
I didn't even know where he was taking me, but everything was fine with me as long as he didn't take me to Lando.
"Whose room is this?" I asked as Max opened the door of a hotel room. He looked at me. "Christian's room, I just happen to have his key" he rolled his eyes as he walked in.
I didn't want Christian to see me like this. He must think I'm an idiot. "I don't wanna sleep with Christian" I said as I took a step back. "Are you for real? This is obviously my room you idiot" he said as he grabbed my arm and pulled me inside.
"Oh" I chuckled. I didn't mind to sleep with Max, he was my best friend.
Not much later we were laying together in bed. I put my head on his chest, he probably didn't expect it, I didn't either if I was honest but it felt right.
"I think it's over between us Max" I mumbled.
He didn't reply, he knew it was true. He just wrapped his arms around me and kissed my head softly.
We both fell asleep like this. I fell asleep with tears in my eyes.
I knew I couldn't fix our marriage anymore.
