I woke up remembering 5 days ago when I cracked open my door and walked out and closed it behind me I came down the stairs and turned the corner to see colby on the couch with audry watching a movie i went past them colby noticed me he got up and came towards me viv he started i looked up at him hurt he went to grab my hand. Don't, I told him, pulling my hand away, he froze and stepped back and sighed. Viv last night was a mistake he said i shook my head a mistake is losing your keys i said i know he replied no you dont i said i do he said i shook my head I turned and started runningout, but he grabbed my arm and pulled me back. He looked me in the eye and told me, "you don't understand, what happened last night was more than a mistake" i shook my head and turned away.I couldn't look him in the eye any longer, so I ran away. He called after me, but I didn't turn back. I knew I had made a mistake, but I wasn't ready to face it yet. i ran out the door and got in the Jeepso I could drive somewhere else, but here I drove for what felt like hours, until I pulled over at a rest stop and cried. i sniffled and wiped my eyes i was out intill 12am at night i pulled into the driveway and went inside i opend the door to colby with flowers and candy i was shocked i closed the door hes sorry viv audreys voice was heard i dont care i said coldly and crossed my arms colby came down the staires im really sorry viv he said He looked at me with pleading eyes, but I didn't budge. I wanted to forgive him, but I couldn't do it. I shook my head im sorry colby but i cant forgive you i said im so sorry viv i love you so much he said i shook my head and looked down you dont love me colby i said he shook his head i promise i do give me another chance he asked. My sister nodded and I said you promised not to hurt me, and he looked down at me and promised not to hurt me. He looked down at me. After telling Audrey I knew Viv and felt terrible, I apologized for the quote. He had glossy eyes and you, I said, and turned to Audrey and told her I knew Viv. She said it was your responsibility to be my older sister, the one who was with me when I got my first period, the one that helped me with boy issues. As my voice cracked, I said you promised never to hurt me. Viv it was a mistake he apologised no it wasent i replied and walked away sobbing. I closed my door and sat on my bed i pulled my knees to my chest i oped the nightstand drawer ang pulled the blade out and set it down on the nightstand i stared at it I picked it up and started to drag it across my skin, watching as the tears and blood started to mix together. I was ready to make the pain go away, just like colby had promised. But it was all lies i let it all go I threw the blade across the room, my breathing becoming heavier and heavier as I tried to process what had just happened. I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry, I wanted to do anything to stop the pain. But all I could do was sit there, motionless, and let the tears fall. I curled up in the corner of my room and let the pain consume me. I had never felt this kind of pain before, and I didn't know what to do. I wanted to run away and never look back, but I had no place to go. i put my head in my knees i felt someone beside me i lifted my head to see sam im here to just listen he said i nodded he lifted my arm and seen the cuts he stood up and left the room and came back with a cloth he cleaned my cuts and wrapped them up as i talked to him he promised me he would never hurt me i sobbed i know viv he said and hugged me i just want things to go back to how they used to i said he nodded He told me that no matter what happened, he would always be here for me. I hugged him and he wiped away my tears with a smile. We sat there in silence for a few moments, and I knew everything was going to be okay. he left i was left in silence i had alot to think about i dicided to write down my thoughts so i did and it helped alot i wrote 4 whole pages back and front I felt a sense of relief after writing my thoughts down. I decided to keep this habit of writing down my thoughts whenever I am feeling overwhelmed. It had been hours since the fight i got up and went down staires to get a drink i went down the stairs to the kitchen into the frige and got some water i sat down at the table and drank my water i looked around till i noticed colby there he walked towards me hey he greeted me hi i said he smiled i smiled sadly he sat down acrossed from me i grabed his hand he looked up at me ive been thinking i said he nodded i think we need to put this on hold for you to figgre out what you want i said he nodded i know what i want i said he nodded He squeezed my hand and looked me in the eyes. I could see he was hurting, but he understood. i love you colby i do i just dont know what you want only you can figgre that out i said with tears i wiped my face he nodded figure out what you want and we will go from there i said he nodded we both stood up he had his arms wide opend i smiled and ran into him and hugged him. We stayed in that hug for what felt like eternity. He whispered i will try in my ear, and I nodded. We pulled away from each other, and I knew everything was going to be alright.
