It's been 2 weeks since we returned to Vegas.When he woke up he looked at me i smiled softly okay i smiled softly and caressed his cheek he relaxed my mom he said i nod i know i know come here i said and pulled him closer to me he hugged me tightly I kissed the top of his head and held him for a few moments until he was ready to let go. I rubbed his back gently before standing up. I smiled down at him and said, "Let's get you something to eat." I took his hand and led him to the kitchen. I fixed him a plate of food and sat down with him. I pushed the plate towards him and he sighed and started to eat He ate quietly as I watched him with a loving smile on my face. I encouraged him to take his time and finish the meal. When he was done, I gave him a hug and thanked him for eating. We then went back to the living room, where we curled up and watched a movie together. We talked about the movie as we watched it, and I asked him how he was feeling. Im hurt my heart hurts he said i nodded i understand I nodded he nodded I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tightly. I told him it was ok to cry and he started to sob. I held him until he drifted to sleep. I lay there with him for a few moments till drifting off to sleep myself.When I woke up it was 3 am and Colby wasn't beside me. I looked towards the balcony he was standing by the railing leaning over to look down I walked out his bare back faced me I touched his back he jumped it's just me I whispered he sighed I wrapped my arms around him I kissed his shoulder softly I was just thinking about my mom he said in a sigh I rubbed his forearm i nodded I'm so sorry baby i said he nodded how did you do it? he asked as he turned around to face me. Tears welled up in his eyes i kept myself busy i cut to cope but don't do that i just did for a while then i met you and it got better i said and smiled he nodded i love you so much he said i smiled i love you more than you know i said and pecked his lips he smiled slightly we sat down holding hands and watched the sunrise i knew he would be okay he seemed okay but i know its just a mask on the inside he's dying. When I was downstairs with Kat having coffee, how was he? she asked, and I sighed, he is so bad I felt for him because I understand what its like to lose your mom.When I told her that I understood what he was feeling, she nodded what time do you leave? When she asked me why I didn't leave, I sighed and said I wasn't leaving, while she smiled. cause he needs me im not just going to get up and leave him im planning to stay till he's okay i replied she just kept smiling. what? i asked you know i would never have thought you two would figure things out to be quite honest with you moving back to la and now here to perform a show its crazy to think how far you two have come over the past year. she said i nodded and smiled I went back upstairs to check on Colby he was laying on his bed his back facing me the curtains closed completely dark in the room wanting to be left alone stage the stage of denial i sighed and walked over to his side of the bed and sat next to him i rubbed his forearm you cant shut me out i said im not he said anyoed okay i said he sighed the last time i talked to her was last Christmas when we got into a huge fight and i yelled at her saying how much i hate her and want her dead he said sniffling I nodded I know i get it I said he nodded the last time i saw my mom before she passed was when i slaped her in the face i remember that day i came home i was only 19 and young and stupid i found her with the nabour on the couch and i called her a slut a whore and alot of other awful things i said starting to tear up but shes still my mom and shes gone never got a chace to say sorry or anything i said sniffleing he nodded i know how it feels colby i really do i replided with my voice cracking he nodded your not alone i reminded him he smiled i nodded with tears just know i love you so fucking much and i know your hurting cause I'm hurting to for you i feel your pain i understand what your going through and if i could take all your pain away and make me carry it i would baby trust me i would I said he nodded and i know your trying its going to be okay my love i said and leaned down to kiss his forehead i laced my hand into his hand i kissed his hand he smiled i love you he said i smiled and kissed his lips we pulled away I nodded my head and just held him tight, letting him know that I was here for him and that he was not alone. I kissed his forehead one more time and let him rest in my arms until he fell asleep. I stayed with him throughout the night, praying and hoping that he would find some peace in his heart.
