It has been 3 week since me and colby have split.I've been trying to distract myself with work and other activities, but it's still hard to forget about him. I'm trying to stay positive and focus on the good times we had together. I just hope that eventually I will be able to move on. Sam and Colbyare currentlyfilming. Ihaven't shower nor changed my clothing week old makeup smeared on my faceIt's understandable that it can be difficult to move on from a relationship, even if it ended on good terms. I don't want him to pick her if he does at least hes staying true to himself and hes happy. There was a knock at the door i got up and walked towards it i opened it to see kat she smiled i looked down you knocked whats up i asked she frowned can i come in she asked i nodded opening the door wider so she could come in jillian jumped up onto the bed while we sat down whats going on i asked as jillian crawled into my lap i patted his head.Well i wanted to see how you were she told me i looked down how are you holding up? She asked its a break up of course im broken i love him kat i answered she nodded hes worried about you she nodded i nodded tell him im fine i replied she nodded. She squeezed my hand and smiled. I could tell she was trying to make me feel better. I smiled back and thanked her. She nodded again and confirmed she'd passed on the message. I said goodbye and hugged her. Ive stopped playing as much music, and my friends say I've been a bit more distant, but I'm sure it'll pass soon. When I brushed my fingers over my keyboardand I pressed one key the sharp high pitch noise echoed throughout the room I could almost feel the soundwaves reverberating in my chest. I sat down and I closed my eyes, letting the sound wash over me. For a moment, I felt peace. i pressed more keys and played till i remembered the tune stars i wisperd to my self I smiled, remembering the night his laughter I opened my eyes and the sound faded away. Isniffled viv i heard him i turned around wiping my face oh uh hey i sighed and pulled myself together. Hey he said i smiled hi i said can i sit he asked his attention towards the seat next to me i nodded and moved over so he could sit he sat down i moved a little bit away from him and turned my body towards him. So ive been thinking alot he said i nodded i think i love audrey he said my heart droped We looked at each other for a moment, the expression on his face intense. He leaned in closer, his eyes searching mine. I felt my heart race. i needed out i wanted out i just dont wanna be here right now and i know that hurts and god im so horrible im sorry viv. He said his voice fadeing as i stared off into the distance "I don't know what to say," I whispered, feeling my throat tighten i know you dont have to say anything he said i nodded i stood up running my hand through my gresy hair i let some tears fall i wiped my face viv he wisperd trying to grab my hand i turned away just go please i wisperd he nodded giveing me space leaveing closeing the door and takeing my crushed heart with him. I sank to the floor sobbing. I tried deep breaths, but felt suffocated. I curled up in a ball on the floor vi- i heard stas call and my door opened i looked up oh viv she said and closed the door and came down onto the floor with me She put her arms around me and held me tightly while I cried. I felt my tears slowly subside as she whispered gentle words of comfort. Slowly, I began to calm down. What happend she asked he made his choice i said she nodded He didn't choose me. She hugged me tighter. I knew it was gonna happen right from that night the look in his eyes it was difrent from when he looks at me i said she nodded im so sorry viv she said i nodded its okay your gonna be okay she said i nodded thank you stas i said she smiledand huged me tighter we ended up staying the night here girls night me and her ice cream candy movie it was the first time i actully had a smile on my face since the breake up
