Crisis of Faith

11

"I'm so fucking ready to be getting out of here, holy shit!"

Katniss chuckled weakly at Kaianna's outburst. The young girl had been quiet the past week, and Kaianna couldn't blame her. Snow pretty much took the person she loved, more than just about anything else in the world. The two followed Boggs into the dim hallway.

"How are you and Finnick," Katniss wondered carefully. She sighed lightly when she felt Kaianna stiffen beside her, "I'm sorry. I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable, I really just want to know if it's possible to undo all of this-"

"Peeta and I are two different people," Kaianna clarified hesitantly, focusing on trying not to lash out, "and they might've used the same...tactics on us but, they used different approaches, and they did it for different reasons. I still don't understand what really happened, and what they made up."

She looked in Katniss's blue eyes, honestly as she spoke, "They took whatever I had with Finnick away but, they haven't taken everyone from me. They couldn't of, even if they tried," Kaianna let out a soft breath, "Katniss, I don't know if I can get it all back. All I know, is I'll keep trying, because there's people around me that I know I can believe in. That's all Peeta needs. Someone he can trust."

"That's why you agreed to keep talking to him." Katniss concluded, pulling a nod from Kaianna.

"I don't know if I can help but hey, there's no harm in trying," Kaianna smiled reassuringly, "it's not like I'm not getting anything out of it. As sad as it sounds, it's nice to have a conversation with someone who gets it. That's why me and Johanna have always been so close."

"I didn't know you could be close to anyone." Katniss joked.

Kaianna's smile faded a tad but, not completely at the girl's lighthearted jab. Katniss was right. Kaianna often didn't let herself get too close to people but, it wasn't in vain. Pushing people away, was how she cared for them. If she didn't show them love, then she wasn't the one putting them in danger. Her loneliness was a safety net for her, as well as those around her, and it was one she grew accustomed to.

"I have lots of surprises locked away Miss Everdeen," Kaianna chuckled to drown out the height of her walls, "how is Johanna by the way? I haven't seen her since the games."

"She usually stays cooped up in her room." Katniss mentioned sadly.

"Which is lucky for you," Boggs spoke up in a matter of fact tone, as he gestured to the door of the pod Kaianna would call home for the foreseeable future, "go ahead. You can ask her yourself. I mean after all, you'll be sharing living quarters from now on."

Kaianna nodded. She was afraid to show too much excitement at the thought of seeing her friend again. She didn't know what shape Johanna was in but, she figured it wasn't great.

"Well thanks for walking me-"

Katniss cut Kaianna off by wrapping her arms around her tightly. She seemed almost afraid to let go.

"What's this for?" Kaianna chuckled awkwardly. She wasn't too used to the idea of hugs. Not anymore.

"Just," Katniss pulled back, and even though she was dodging Kaianna's gaze, the nervous look in her crystal blue orbs, was obvious, "thank you. For everything, really."

Kaianna nodded slowly, truly confused. To her, it seemed like Katniss was saying goodbye but, she couldn't understand why. After all they were just a few hallways away from each other, and surely they'd see each other for lunch tomorrow.

"Now go see your friend," Katniss encouraged shakily, "maybe she'll open up a little more for you."

Kaianna gave one last nervous smile as she pushed the door open slowly, and nervously. Her brain told her to take it in. The image of Katniss standing, with her hands in her pockets, and an encouraging smile on her face. Deep down she knew that it'd be awhile before she saw her again. She just didn't know why. Kaianna stepped through the doorway hesitantly, wiping her sweaty palms against the fresh grey fabric that she had just changed into.