Crisis of Faith

14

"We've been here before you know."

Kaianna's eyes fluttered open at the sound of Peeta's voice.

"What?" Katniss wondered quietly.

"That look," Peeta sat up quietly, "I've seen that look. You're trying to decide, whether or not you should kill me-"

"I never wanted to kill you," Katniss snipped. She waited until she was calmer to speak again, "and that's not what I'm doing."

"I saw it with my own eyes," Peeta argued, "in the first games."

"In the first games I thought you were trying to help the careers kill me," Katniss defended, "after that, I always saw you...as an ally."

His eyes narrowed, almost accusingly as he continued to stare at his former partner.

"Friend. Lover. Victor. Fiancé. Enemy, target, mutt, and now ally," Peeta snapped, "yeah, I'll add that to the list of words I use to try and figure you out."

Kaianna sat up calmly, to see Finnick doing the same. He sent her a confused glance, and she shrugged before sending Peeta one of worry.

"I'm sorry," The boy mumbled regretfully, "I just can't tell, what's real and what's made up anymore."

"Then ask," Finnick instructed softly, "that's what Annie does. Kaianna too."

He tilted his head towards the woman next to him.

"Ask who?" Peeta sighed.

"Us," Kaianna responded with a shrug if her own, "I told you, we're not the ones here to hurt you."

He nodded hesitantly, letting silence take up the air. His eyes wondered back to Katniss, allowing him to study her for a moment, in an attempt to remember anything good.

"Your favorite color is green," He stated, "is that real?"

"Yeah, that's real," Katniss nodded subtly, "your's is orange. Not- not bright orange. Soft, like the sunset."

"Thank you." Peeta nodded.

"You're a painter," She continued, bringing a softness out in the boy's expression, "you're a baker. You always sleep with the windows open. You never take sugar in your tea. You always double knot your shoelaces."

After a moment, Katniss pushed herself to her feet, sending Kaianna an uneasy look as she slipped past her, "You were right. I can't do this."

Kaianna watched her walk away, before slowly getting up to take her spot. She looked to Finnick again, to find that he had drifted back into his slumber.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"It's alright." Kaianna cut Peeta's mumbling off as she shifted to get comfortable, "I know it's not easy," She mumbled towards Peeta, "believe me, I know but, I can tell that you're trying. That's all we can ask for. So, thank you."

Peeta sent her a nervous look.

"I never stopped trusting you," He said slowly, almost scared to speak, "even when I found out you knew what was going on. I still knew that you were trying to help me."

"Well it hasn't been hard," Kaianna shrugged, "that's one of the only things I know I've always tried to do. One of the only things that I know is real. It hasn't been hard to put all of my energy into it."

The pair sat in a comfortable silence, each of them focusing on what they should say next. Kaianna found her eyes wandering to Finnick's peaceful expression. Her gaze flickered over him intently, as she truly took in his features. He had more frown lines then she remembered, undoubtedly from the stress and exhaustion he went through during their time apart.