To Neptune And Back

Your Side of the Bed (Chapter 23)

"I still don't understand why you are whispering though. Where are you right now?"

"I told you, I'm in our room. I'm whispering because Natasha isn't here but I'm convinced she had to have bugged the place so she can spy on me even when she isn't physically here."

"And why exactly would Natasha waste perfectly good equipment to spy on you inside the hotel room she is sharing with you, Y/N? Seems like a waste of resources to me."

Running your hand through the back of your hair and down your neck, you try calming yourself as you prepare to fill Kate in on what's going on. Normally, you'd never openly share your problems with someone else, not wanting to bother them when your way of dealing with coping tends to result in you hiding away in your lab. Unfortunately that's not exactly something you can do when you're currently stuck sharing what now feels like a micro-hotel room with the person you are wanting to hide from.

"Listen... I am going to tell you something that I really need you to promise not to tell anyone about."

"Y/N, I promise I won't–"

"That includes Yelena. Kate, I really can't have you talking to Yelena about this ok. I'm being so serious... if I knew how to cope without losing it right now I would do it alone but I'm really starting to freak out ok, I don't... I don't know what to do or –"

"Hey, hey. Breathe, Y/N. I'm sure your genius brain knows you can't live if you don't ingest some oxygen."

Taking a few deep breaths, genuinely feeling like you could be walking yourself into a panic attack, you take a minute before you attempt to compose the chaotic thoughts that have been encompassing your brain since last night.

"I promise you I will not tell anyone, including Yelena. Okay?"

Kate's voice sounds genuinely sincere, letting you feel as ready as you will ever be to get this off your chest. Letting out an exhale, your body hits the couch with a thud as you lay down, mimicking a position that you would expect to see someone in at a therapy session. Not wanting to keep Kate on the phone forever, especially since you have no idea when Natasha would be coming back, you get yourself to just let it out.

"Last night Natasha and I... we almost– well you see we were.. Ok so it was like ..."

"Please just spit it out, I have no idea how long until Yelena might come back and–"

"Natasha and I almost kissed last night!"

Hearing the sound of Kate choking is the only noise you can decipher coming from her end of the phone. After what feels like a dramatically long time, you finally hear her clear her throat and seemingly regain her composure enough to pick the phone back up.

"Uhm, excuse me? Natasha, as in Natasha Romanoff? The woman who has kicked your ass on multiple occasions, looked into your background without your permission, is Yelena's fucking SISTER, oh lets not forget her being the person that left a gash in your side that is now a permanent scar you have for life... that Natasha???? How did you get that to happen?!"

"Ok... it's not that shocking that I could charm Natasha. You're making it sound like I'm punching above my weight class or something here."

"Well I mean..."

"Not the point! The point is we fucking almost kissed. As soon as we were about to kiss she pulled away and abruptly ended our night. We didn't talk about it AT ALL and then this morning when I woke up she was just gone. For the past week we have had relatively the same schedule, and never did that schedule include Natasha sneaking out of our hotel room without me... Kate I am freaking out! I don't want to have made things awkward or ruined anything between me and Natasha. This is so bad. Holy shit this is bad. God, why am I such a fucking idiot all of the time?"