You're safe with me

Old scars

Seungmin pov:
We are in an interview with some magazine where we are being asked all kinds of questions, like "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" to which we all said we hoped to still be together. After a while the questions start getting more personal until our childhoods come up every one gives normal answers, for example when they ask about our favorite meals we all gave our answers and the interviewer seems satisfied. I just hope they don't ask about our parents. " So, how is your relationship with your parents?" " Shit!", I mumble under my breath, already starting to feel a little nervous. They go around, each saying how much they miss their families and how excited they all are to see them again. I don't realize it's my turn until I feel Bang Chan nudge my arm with his elbow, everyone already staring at me expectantly. I panic not knowing what to say seeing as I never had a good relationship with them nor do I want to see them again any time soon. I start biting the inside of my cheek, something I always do when I get nervous. Bang Chan must have noticed because I can feel him taking my hand and starting to draw small circles on it with his thumb, in an attempt to calm me down. Surprisingly it helps a little to the point where I'm able to think of something to say. " It's good I'm really looking forward to seeing them, it's been way too long.", I say smiling politely. " I can only imagine.", the interviewer says with a sympathetic look. " Alright, that's it for today. Thank you guys so much for joining me and answering all these questions.", " No problem.", Chan says as we all slowly start to get up. As soon as we left the building Chan pulls me aside taking my hand and guiding me a few meters away from the others. " Are you okay? I noticed, that last question made you a little uncomfortable.", he says worry written all over his face. " Yeah of course, it's not a big deal.", I say trying my best to sound convincing, but he knows me too well immediately catching on to it. " If you don't want to talk to me about it that's fine, just please don't lie to me, because all that does is make me feel like you don't trust me. ", he admits making me regret my decision instantly. " Sorry, I really didn't mean it like that.", I say and his features soften at my quiet and pained sounding tone. " It's fine, I just wanted you to know.", he tells me pulling me into a hug from which I carefully pull away not really liking physical contact. Chan apologizes and we go back to where the others are waiting for us. " There you are!", Felix says relieved. " What took you so long, I'm starving?!", "Sorry about that we just had to talk about something.", Chan says and I'm relieved Felix doesn't seem to want any further information. " Can we go now? I wasn't kidding when I said I'm starving.", Felix says, looking frustrated. "Alright, Alright, let's go then.", Changbin says laughing. My stomach twists at the thought of going anywhere but home right now since all I wanted to do was go to bed and forget today even happened and I wasn't really hungry either. " Hey guys, would it be okay if I go home? I'm not really hungry and I'm not feeling too well either." " Yes of course, would you like one of us to come with you?", Han says looking at the others. " No, I'll be fine but thank you." "Are you sure? I'd rather not leave you alone like this.", Chan says looking me deep in the eyes. "I think he's right you really shouldn't be by yourself, what if you faint and or get hurt and no one is there to help you?", Felix comments, now everyone is staring at me. I let out a sigh of surrender and let my head sink, there is a moment of silence before Chan speaks up. "I'll stay with him, just make sure to bring some food back for us." "Alright.", Changbin says, taking responsibility right away. All of us make our way to the car me and Chan getting out at our apartment while the rest of them head towards the restaurant. The two of us go inside and I let him know that I'm going to my room to which he simply hums in response. I walk to my room sitting down on my bed once I get there. I start thinking about what happened today and my eyes start watering as I think about all the things my parents said and did to me throughout my childhood and how no matter how hard I'd try they would always tell me I'm their worst failure. My gaze falls onto the mirror in front of me. While looking at myself I remember all the times my mother would slap or insult me if I dared to get anything below a B and I start remembering all the other ways my parents would physically and mentally harm me whenever I couldn't meet their expectations. I start crying, loud sobs escaping my throat. I'm completely lost in my emotions when I hear a soft knock at the door. I don't have the energy to open it nor is my voice stable enough for me to speak so I just silently hope for Chan to come in. Which he does. Upon seeing me he immediately sits down next to me on the bed, wrapping his arms around my shaking body. "Shhhhh, it's okay I'm here", he whispers rubbing my back slowly. I just keep crying fully falling into his arms, not realizing this was the first time I ever let anyone hug me in at least ten years. "What happened?" he asks carefully. "M-m-m-my p- parents the-they...", I try my best to answer but my lips are quivering too much which makes it nearly impossible for me to speak. " It's okay, I know. This must have torn open some scars huh?", he whispers. I still don't see myself able to speak so I simply nod. "It's okay baby, that's all in the past. You're safe with me. I'm here for you.", he assures me. Hearing him say that and him calling me baby are both things that really help me relax. Because even though we have been dating for over a year, he never gave me any pet names nor did we ever kiss or had any type of physical contact apart from occasionally holding hands. I know it upsets him that he's not able to touch his boyfriend but I just can't bring myself to let him touch me because the fear of getting hurt is still too strong. But here I am wrapped up in his arms, having him call me baby. And to my surprise, I never felt more secure in my life. After a few minutes, I start calming down a little bit, so I lift my head from Chan's shoulder to look at him. When he notices my movement he shifts his body so he would be able to look into my, most definitely red and swollen, eyes. "Are you doing any better now?", he asks his voice soft and caring. "Yeah, a little bit, thank you.", I respond my voice sounding a bit raspy from the tears. Chan tries to move away but I wrap my arms around him to keep him close. Chan is visibly surprised by my action but wraps his arms back around my body and pulls me into his chest. "Do you want to lie down?", Chan asks after a few minutes. I give a slight nod in response, and we lie down on the bed with my head placed on his chest and one of my arms lying across his waist. I can feel his eyes on me but I decide to ignore it and just enjoy the moment. Suddenly I hear Chan ask a question, that has my whole body tense up for a moment. "Can I kiss you?", he asks sounding slightly nervous. " I don't know.", I respond. "It's just all really nerve-wracking but I really want you to be happy and I don't want you to feel like I don't like you because I do, more than anyone else.", I continue my voice slightly shaking. "It's okay if you're not ready, I still like you and I know you like me too. I don't want you to feel rushed in any way.", he states. "And I mean we're already making progress as of yesterday you wouldn't even let me hug you and now we're here cuddling like we never did anything else.", he says chuckling and I give a short laugh. "Thank you for being so patient with me.", I say going back to a more serious tone. "You're worth waiting for.", he says smiling.