You're safe with me

Let me help you too

I too get up, with the intention of going to the living-room. Once I get there, I see Chan still on the sofa, doing something on his phone. "Hi." I say, Chan immediately turning around. "Hey Baby, is everything okay? You seemed upset earlier." I sit down next to him and he puts his arm around me right away, causing me to rest my head on his shoulder. "Yeah, I just had to talk about something with Jeongin and wasn't sure how it would go." I explain, to which I feel him pressing a kiss to the top of my head. "How did it go?" he asks, rubbing my back. "Good, but can I ask you something?" he pulls back to look at me. "Of course, what's up?" I clear my throat. "Do your parents know about us?" he smiles. "So, I told them about me and even though I never actually said anything, I'm pretty sure my mum knows. She always has that knowing smile whenever I talk about you." I look at him with wide eyes, as he's smiling brightly. "So your parents are fine with it?" he nods. "It took my dad a bit to get used to but he still never said anything offensive or inappropriate." I put my head back down and take his hand. "I'm happy for you." I say. "You know we do have a month off in two months..." I look at him. "What are you trying to say?" the bright smile makes its way back on his face. "I was thinking, that maybe we could go visit them for a week or so and I finally introduce you as my boyfriend." now it's my turn to smile. "I'd love that." he leans his head down and places a gentle kiss on my lips. "There's one thing I wanted to ask you. You don't have to answer though." he says. "What?" he takes a deep breath and I start to get a little nervous. "Can you tell me, why you panicked? Everything seemed fine at first and then suddenly..." he explains and I immediately lower my eyes. He squeezes my hand, which as I now realize, is still holding his. "I kind of freaked out, ... not because I didn't like it but because I suddenly felt so vulnerable. The thought of being completely defenceless, really scared me." I admit shyly. "That makes sense." he says softly. "But Minnie, please know that you being vulnerable, doesn't automatically mean people are going to hurt you. I know it's hard to believe after everything that happened to you and I don't expect you to change over night, but I want you to know, I won't ever hurt you or take advantage of your vulnerability. I love you." I listen intently to every last one of his words. "I love you too." I say, smiling. "I was thinking about something but I'm not sure how you'd feel about it." he says, after a few minutes of silence. "What's that?" he shifts, now looking directly into my eyes. "I was thinking, since you're so scared of vulnerability, you could try taking control." he offers. "How do you mean that exactly?" "What if, you try doing the same things to me and see how I react? That way you'll see, that there's nothing wrong with letting yourself be taken care off and giving up some control." he explains, calmly. "I don't know. I wouldn't even know how." I tell him. "That's not really a problem, I'll be guiding you through everything." his voice is gentle but I'm still unsure. "You don't have to, it's just an offer" he reassures me. "What exactly would I have to do?" there's a slight smile on his face now. "First of, you don't have to do anything and second, what you do is entirely up to you" he explains. I think for a while unsure of what to say or do. "Another option would be, to keep the focus on you for now and help get to know your own body before mine." his voice is really calm, causing me to relax as well. "I'm not sure." I say honestly. "That's okay, neither of these things have to happen today or even next week." he presses a gentle kiss to the top of my head, causing me to smile. „I'll think about it." he nods and we cuddle up again. The next week is filled to the brim with schedules, causing us to miss out on a lot of sleep and meals. I honestly feel lucky, because mine isn't half as stuffed as some of the others, meaning I still get five to six hours of sleep and get to eat at least two meals a day. Chan is doing the exact opposite, he's barely home, doesn't sleep and eats way too little for it to even be considered food. That really tests his mental resilience, resulting in him distancing himself from the others and even me, not wanting us to see him so worn out and overwhelmed. After finding out things are most likely going to continue like this for another two weeks, he breaks. When I come into his room on Saturday evening to bring him some dinner, he's sitting at his desk sobbing quietly. I rush over, setting the plate down next to him. "Hey, what's wrong?" I ask, putting my hand on his back. He looks up in shock, immediately stopping his tears. "It's nothing, don't worry about it." he says, bringing his hand up to his face. "Don't lie." I say sternly, making him look at me. I gasp at the sight, dark circles under his eyes, skin pale in a way that makes him look sick and his whole body looks to be on the verge of collapsing. "When was the last time you slept or ate?" he looks down and I'm getting seriously worried he might faint. "Please eat and go to sleep." "But I..." he starts but I interrupt him. "You nothing. The only thing you're going to do today is eat and sleep." he flinches and I feel sorry.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." I put my arms around him, pulling him into a hug. "Thank you." he says quietly and I can feel him relax into my arms. I don't say anything, holding him just a little tighter. After a few more minutes I slowly pull away, feeling him get heavier but wanting him to eat first. "Please eat, I can't let you go to sleep like this." he nods, pulling the plait closer. I watch him as he slowly brings the spoon to his mouth over and over again, until there's nothing left. "Could you come with me, I need to brush my teeth and should probably take a shower?" he asks, looking over at me. "Of course, let's go." I reply gently. He gets up and I see why he wants me to come with him. His legs are shaking under his weight, making me reach out to steady him, slowly guiding him around the chair. We get to the bathroom and I have him sit on a stool I pull out from underneath the sink. "I'm sorry." he says, causing me to give him a confused look. "What for?" I crouch down in front of him, taking his hands. "For letting it get to this point, I never meant for you to feel the need to take care of me." his head sinks, so I pick up his chin and place a soft kiss on his lips. "That's nothing to be sorry about, I'm glad I get to help you for once, seeing how much you've helped me over the past year but especially these last few months." he smiles and I can't help but smile back. "Let's get this over with, you really need to get some rest." I say, getting up. I pick up his toothbrush, holding it under the stream, before putting some toothpaste on it and handing it to Chan. After he's done, I clean everything up and put the stool in the shower, before leaving him alone. After a few minutes he comes out, hair still wet, curling slightly and I get off the bed to pull back the blanket. "Go to sleep." I say gently, as he's walking up to me. He gets into bed and I sit down next to him. I almost forgot his love-language is physical-touch, causing me to be a little surprised when he pulls me into his arms, but I don't resist. I cuddle up to him and can practically feel him falling asleep next to me. After making sure he's actually asleep, I carefully get out of bed, closing the curtains before leaving the room and making my way down-stairs.