You're safe with me

It's okay to cry

Chan's pov
I move my other hand to touch his face, softly caressing his cheek. He flinches at my touch since he most likely just didn't expect it, because afterwards he settles right back down. "Sorry Baby, I didn't mean to scare you.", I whisper in his ear, not wanting to ruin the peaceful atmosphere. "It's okay.", he says in a sleepy voice, sounding almost fragile. After a few minutes I realise he must have fallen asleep, his breathing calm and even. I decide to just watch him as I'm not tired yet. After a few minutes there's a knock on the door, before being opened shortly after. It's Jisung. He enters the room closing the door behind him. "What do you want?", I whisper, causing Jisung to look confused. Then he notices the sleeping Seungmin in my arms and his face immediately changes. "The others are wondering where you are but don't worry I'll just say you passed out in front of your computer working.", he whispers with a smile. "Thanks Sung.", I say sincerely. "No problem. Seungmin told me he isn't ready for the others to know and I don't know about you so .", he says and I nod in response. "He must've been really tired.", "It's been a though day for him.", I say now there's worry in Jisung's eyes. "What do you mean?", he asks sitting down in my desk- chair the worry also evident in his voice. "Well, first he found out that you know, which even though you were nice about it, still scared him. Then Binnie told him he thinks the others might know as well, which caused him to panic, so he came to me and we talked about everything. Additionally I find out that he's been pushing himself to do stuff he isn't ready for just so I don't have to wait." I explain quietly, Jisung looking at me stunned. "I'm sorry I'm loading all of this on you." I say, feeling bad for making him carry parts of my burden when he's already got so much of his own. "No no, don't worry. You need to talk to someone about all this and I'm honoured that you trust me enough to open up to me.", he says calmly and I can't help but smile at his words. "Thank you. For everything.", I say, though I'm not sure if he heard me because my voice cracked and was almost inaudible at the end. "Always, I mean you're my best friend. Why would I ever not be there for you?", "Yeah, I guess you're right.", I say looking at Seungmin who is restlessly shifting in my arms. "Shhhhh, shhhh. It's okay.", I mumble. I look up at Jisung at that moment I feel tears soaking my shirt and I can hear small whimpers coming from Seungmin. Jisung must hear them as well because he gets up to come over and sit down next to me. "Hey Seungmin Baby, wake up it's okay.", I repeat similar phrases a few times before he finally opens his eyes. "Hey, it's okay. It's over now, you're safe.", I tell him and he curls up in my arms still crying. "Nightmare?", I ask and feel him nod in response. Jisung puts his hand on his back which makes him flinch and look back. Upon seeing Jisung he immediately tries to hide his tears but I carefully remove his hands from his face. "Baby, it's okay to cry. Neither of us is going to judge you for crying.", I tell him but I can see him trying to hold back the tears. "Really. It's okay to cry. You don't need to hide, especially not from me, Chan or Changbin, believe me we've seen it all.", Jisung says soothingly. "Do you want to tell me what happened?", I ask and I'm honestly a little surprised to see him nod. I'm little confused after he doesn't say anything but decide not to rush him. "Seungmin, do you want me to leave?", Jisung asks making me look back up. "Yes, I'm sorry.", Seungmin response, voice weak and raspy from crying. "No need to apologises, I get that there are certain things you only want to tell certain people and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.", he explains, getting off the bed. "Are you okay with me hugging you?", Seungmin nods so I let go of him so Jisung can pull him into a short hug. He let's go and Seungmin instantly returns to my arms. "See you tomorrow, I guess.", he says leaving the room, closing the door behind him. "Okay, we're alone now. Can you tell me what happened?", I ask and he just presses closer to my chest. I tighten my grip around his frame, making sure he knows he's safe now. "I, it-it's my parents. I remembered their reaction to me coming out today. In my dream the guys reacted the same way.", he mumbles so quietly, to the point where I can barely hear what he's saying. "I can promise you that won't happen. They all love you in their own unique way and I can almost guarantee you that won't change. No matter what.", I say and he looks up at me like he wants to say something but doesn't know how. "How do you feel about all of this?", he asks and I'm not really sure how to answer at first. "Well, I'm a little nervous as well but I know that overall nothing will change and that's what I'm trying to make you see as well.", I tell him with a soft smile. "Can I have a kiss?", he asks shyly, causing my smile to widen. "You really like me kissing you, don't you?", I asks and he looks away, most likely blushing. "Yes Baby, of course you can have a kiss. You don't need to ask every time though, you can just kiss me.", I say with a slight chuckle. He looks back at me and I take the opportunity to softly place my lips on his. The kiss is slow and soft, letting him feel it all. I myself can't deny that I'm feeling hot. I want him and there's no point in pretending I don't but I'm very well aware that it'll take quite some time for us to get there. Nevertheless, I can still feel a boner coming on now, which has me feverishly trying to find a way to get rid of it without him noticing it was ever there. The situation is unfamiliar since it usually takes a bit more than kissing for me to get hard. I decide to just ignore it, in hopes of it disappearing if I don't pay attention to it. I pull back slowly, both of us going to back to sleep.