You're safe with me

Sensitive?

Time skip
Once the food is done Chan prepares two plates, setting them on the table along with two glasses of water. I take a deep breath taking in the delicious sent that is now filling the room. "It smells amazing!", I tell him, to which I can see his eyes fill with pride. "Let's eat then. 'Cause I don't know about you but I'm starving", his voice is whiny so that he almost sounds like a little kid. I can't help but giggle, making him smile once again. We sit down both of us starting to eat. I'm honestly surprised at how good it is, not that I ever doubted his abilities. "How do you like it?", "It's really good.", I tell him as I keep eating. "Thank you. I'm glad you like it.", he says and I can feel his gaze on me.
After we finish, Chan puts the dishes away and leaves to get back to work. I decide to go see Changbin and tell him about everything that happened. I knock on his door softly before opening, getting inside and closing it behind me. Changbin is sitting on his bed with a book in his hands, now looking up at me. "Hey. Can I help you?", he puts the book aside moving to the edge of his bed. "I just want to talk to you, if you don't mind.", I sit down next to him entwining my fingers in my lap. "Of course, bring it on.", he says looking at me. "Soo..., I talked to Chan. I told him I'm not quite comfortable with the pace our relationship is progressing at.", I say, unsure but he smiles at me. "I'm so proud of you. What did he say?", "He said he's sorry for having had things move so rapidly and that he'll make sure to take things slower from now on.", I say happily. "See? I told you talking would help clear things up. I'm glad though.", he says pulling me into a hug. "Thank you.", I say sincerely. He smiles, waving it off. "No need. I'm just glad to see you happy.", all I can do is smile back. "What were you reading", I ask, remembering the book he put down earlier. "It's called 'Invisible Woman'.", he says picking it up. "That sounds intriguing. What is it about?", I ask, curious about the kind of content he surrounds himself with. "It's basically packed with a range of case studies, stories and new research, all showing the everyday challenges of being a woman.", he explains and I'm fascinated. I knew Changbin, like the rest of us, is a feminist but I have to admit I wasn't aware of just how interested he actually is in learning about what it's like to be a woman. "Can you give me an example?", I don't really know what he meant by 'challenges'. "Sure! For example, did you know that women are 47% more likely to get injured in a car accident?!", he says and I could hear the rage in his voice. "Really? That shouldn't be accepted.", I say, genuinely annoyed at how this is even allowed. I think about my sister, knowing this makes me worry about her. Even though I never got along with my parents, my sister and I had always been very close and she was the only one that stuck to my side when my parents got mad at me. From the moment they found out I was gay they would yell at me for seemingly no reason and would even lock me in the guest bathroom sometimes. They said I just needed to be 'punished enough' for my brain to turn back to 'normal'. Changbin must have noticed I zoned out because when my eyes fall back on him there's a look of worry in his eyes. "What are you thinking about?", I blink a few times before fully coming back to reality. "What?", I ask, not processing his words. "What are you thinking about?", "Oh, nothing. My mind just trailed off.", I respond attempting a smile. Changbin looks at me in a way that says something along the lines of 'Are you serious?' "You can tell me if something's up. You know that, right?", he asks and I nod in response. "I was just thinking about my sister and then my thoughts started shifting to my parents.", I say honestly. "I see. So have you and Chan figured out what to do?", he asks changing the topic. "Not really, we were more focused on working things out between us.", "Makes sense. I just thought maybe you talked about it.", he says calmly. "I'm going to stay with him tonight though.", I say and I can see his face light up. "Really?", he seems surprised. "Yeah, I'm trying to find ways to get more comfortable with him without overwhelming myself.", "That's a great idea! That way you can slowly build a physical connection, without the pressure of intimacy.", he says and I'm impressed at how he's always able to make these connections. "Yeah I guess you're right.", I say with a smile. "I'll go see if Chan's done working.", I say getting up. "Alright, have fun.", he says happily, hugging me before letting me leave. I get to Chan's room, softly knocking on the door before opening it. Chan is sat in front of his desk, turning around as soon as he sees me. He takes off his headphones giving me his full attention. "Is everything alright?", he asks and I nod before answering. "Yeah. I was just wondering how much longer you're gonna take.", I admit shyly which makes him smile. "I'm almost done, I just need to save the file.", he says so I decide to take a seat on his bed. After a few more minutes he turns off his laptop before coming to join me. "What do you need Baby?", he asks and I give him a confused look. "What do you mean?", I respond. "What do you need me to do for you to feel comfortable?", he asks. "Do you want to talk, do you want to cuddle or maybe there's something else?" he continues, his voice soft almost like he's talking to a child. "There is actually something that we should talk about.", I say, looking at him. "What is it?", he asks. "Well, Changbin said that the others are catching on and I don't really know how to handle that.", I say nervously. "Okay, What part of them knowing can't you handle?", he asks and I have to think for a minute before answering. "Telling them is just so much pressure, especially because I don't know how they're going to react.", I explain and he just nods not saying anything for a while. "Do you think it would be easier for you, if we told everyone individually?", "Probably.", I respond, thinking about who I haven't told yet. Minho, Hyunjin, Felix and Jeongin. I get nervous thinking about the last one because I kind of know the others position to the community but for Jeongin I'm not really sure. I mean he has never said anything against it but I've never heard him say something good either, so I really don't know. "Who would you be most nervous about telling?", he asks and I could swear he read my mind. " I guess Jeongin, just because I don't really know what he'd think of it.", "Okay so how about we tell him first, so the scariest one is off the list?", he asks and I must look terrified because he pulls me into his arms hugging me tightly. "It'll be okay. I'm sure he's gonna be fine with it.", he whispers and I cuddle up to his chest, needing the feeling of comfort and safety. "Can you kiss me?", I ask quietly, making him look at me. "Are you sure?", he asks and I nod. He leans in slowly and I close my eyes, felling his lips against mine shortly after. He's so soft and gentle that it almost feels like a feather caressing my lips, making my whole body feel warm and sending what seems like small shocks, similar to the ones you'd get on a trampoline or a slide, through my system. He pulls back slowly, looking into my eyes. "Can I ask you something?", "You just did.", he answers with a smile. "You know what I mean.", "Yeah, go for it.", he says and I can feel myself blush almost deciding not to ask. "What does it feel like to you? You know when... when we... we kiss.", I ask and his expression turns impossibly soft. "It feels amazing! It feels like waves of heat pulsing through my whole body.", he explains and I'm surprised I can even make him feel that way, as the feeling he described seems pretty intense. "But what does it feel like to you?", he asks and I can feel my face turning bright red. "It's okay, no need to be shy. It's just you and me, you're safe and to be honest I'm curious now.", he says his face and voice just as soft as they were before. I take a deep breath trying to figure out what to say. "Well... It's kind of like small electric shocks at every nerve in my body, you know? Like the ones you get from touching something after being on a trampoline." , I try to explain. He seems to understand because he nods with a hit of satisfaction on his face. "I get a similar feeling every time we touch as well.", I admit making him smile a little. "Oh yeah? What does that feel like?", he asks and I quickly look away, somewhat regretting I brought it up. "W-w-well, it-it's more of a-a tingle. L-l-like w- when your leg f-falls asleep.", I say and I hate myself for stuttering so much. "You mean when I touch you like this?", he asks softly putting his hand on my cheek. I never knew Chan could be this flirty but if I'm being honest I kind of like it. He does it so lovingly that it actually feels nice. "Yeah.", I breath out, not really being able to speak. "I never knew how sensitive you actually are.", he says and I feel bad because being called sensitive usually isn't a good thing. "Hey, what's wrong?", "You just called me sensitive. That kind of sounds like you think I can't handle anything.", I say slightly upset. "Oh no no! I didn't mean it in a bad way. What I meant was that you feel touch more intensely than most other people, that actually explains a lot. Do you have that with other people as well?", he asks and I try to think until I realise that there are actually only very few people I feel comfortable being touched by. Most people make me feel icky, even if I like them. There are only about three people I feel good touching me: my sister, Changbin, Chan and maybe Jisung on a good day. "Yeah, but with most people it's more of an icky feeling.", I say and he looks surprised. "So you're saying being touched usually makes you uncomfortable, but with certain people?", he asks and I just nod. "Do you have that with things as well, like textures or temperatures, or is it just people?", "Just people.", I say quietly, looking down at my hands. "Please tell me if it's getting too much okay? I just want to figure out what's happening so I can avoid making you feel uncomfortable.", he explains and I nod again. "You said, you like it when I touch you, so if you want me to we could figure out a way for me to touch you that doesn't get too much too quickly.", he offers and I break into a smile. "I take that as a yes. So, was there anything you
particularly enjoyed?", "I liked the cuddles, it felt a little odd at first but in the end it was really nice.", I say trying to look up at him. "Alright, I can work with that.", he says happily. "I'd say you lie down in whatever position you feel the most comfortable and I'll lie down with you correspondingly.", he offers and I wordlessly lie down on my side, shifting until I'm comfortable. My eyes are already closed so I don't see Chan coming but I feel the mattress sink under his weight. After a few more seconds I can feel his body next to mine and shift so my head is lying on his chest. He puts an arm around me with his hand resting on my waist. I can feel a slight pressure, indicating he wants to pull me closer but probably wants to give me an opportunity to stop him. Instead of stopping him I move closer myself and the pressure on my waist disappears.