You're safe with me

Honesty

"Come in.", I say unsure of who it could be. To my more or less surprise, it's Chan standing in the door and now walking up to my bed. "Hey, I wanted to check you're okay. I kind of hared you crying earlier when I went to the bathroom but after hearing Changbin already taking care of you I thought it'd be best for me to leave you alone.", he explains sitting down. "Yeah...", I say slowly avoiding eye contact. He carefully grabs my chin between his finger, turning my face towards him, so I have to look at him. "You want to tell me what's wrong?", he asks softly his hand on my cheek now. I simply shake my head trying to move it so I don't have to look at him anymore. He lets go but I can tell he's upset about me closing up again. "Sorry.", I whisper on the verge of tears again, not wanting to hurt him. "It's okay Darling. You don't need to apologize, just tell me when you're ready to", he assures me but I still feel bad. That's when Changbin comes back, a plate and chopsticks in his hand. "I'm gonna leave now.", Chan informs us getting back up. Once he left Changbin closes the door and comes back to me, setting the food down on my nightstand before sitting down. "I know it's hard but try not to push him away too much. He's really worried about you.", "I'm trying but I don't want him to hurt because of my pain.", I admit and he looks at me understandingly. "But you see, he's more hurt by you keeping it all from him than he'd be if you just told him", he says trying his best to make me understand. "You don't understand. I don't want him to constantly feel sorry for me or worry about me taking things the wrong way just because I'm so insecure about everything.", I say frustrated. "I do understand but and I mean this in the most empathetic way possible I also know that if you keep going like this you'll eventually lose him.", he says and I know he's right but it still hurts to hear him say it. "You don't have to tell him today but make sure you do it soon.", he tells me and I just look at him too deep in my head to reply. "I'll leave you alone now, let me know if you need anything.", he says hugging me once more before leaving. Now I'm on my own again and don't know how to feel. Everything is just so much right now and I'm not quite sure how to handle it. I decide to lie down falling asleep shortly after, although I wish I didn't.
Me and Chan are sitting on my bed me leaned against his chest and his arms wrapped around my waist. "I need to talk to you about something.", I say quietly. "What's up?", he questions looking down. "Well, I feel terrible lately. You know about making you lie and making you wait for so long.", I admit and the atmosphere suddenly turns ice cold. I can feel Chan's arms slip away and no matter how hard I try to keep him close he roughly pulls away looking at me with disgust. "Are you gonna start crying now or something?", he says sounding embarrassed. I'm hurt by his words but try my best to hide it. "You're actually about to start crying.", he says laughing. That's the final drop and I start crying trying to hide my tears. "You're literally 22 that's so embarrassing. I'm gonna leave now, don't talk to me anymore please I don't need a crybaby.", he says arrogantly. I cry loudly feeling devastated. I love him so much and I can't believe he did this to me when he used to be so nice.
That's when I wake up tears running down my face, Chan bent over me a hand on my shoulder. "Hey, hey! It's okay it's just a dream.", he says softly pulling me into a hug. I try to pull away, scared of what just happened. He lets go and I scoop away from him. "What happened? It's okay I won't hurt you. What's wrong?", he asks coming closer again. I flinch pulling my knees to my chest which makes him back off and just look at me, worry filling his eyes. "Hey, I'm not going to hurt you, baby. You're safe now I promise.", he assures me and I start to realize what is going on. It was all a dream, he's right. I start to relax a bit and when Chan tries to put a hand on my shoulder I let him, coming back to reality. "Do you want to talk about it?", he asks softly. "No, not now.", I tell him quietly. "That's fine. Do you want me to stay with you?", he asks and I simply nod in response. He lies down, me next to him placing my head on his chest. I can hear his heart beating evenly and close my eyes trying to fall back asleep. However, I can't because my body keeps flinching and I can't seem to fully calm down. "Hey, it's okay. That dream really messed with you, are you sure you don't wanna tell me? It usually helps to talk about it.", he states calmly. "But you'll think it's stupid.", I confess. "No. Whatever it is it's not stupid.", he assures me combing his fingers through my hair, lightly scratching my scalp. I take a deep breath trying to build up some courage. "I'm sorry.", I say softly and Chan looks at me confused. "What for?", he asks. "For everything! For making you lie because I'm insecure; for making you wait for ages just to get closer to me; for crying all the time; for having you deal with all of this.", I tell him completely out of breath by the end. "So that's what's going on.", he says as though he finally realized. "Oh my sweet little angel.", he says kissing the top of my head. "None of it is your fault. Is that why you were crying earlier?", he asks. I don't respond but that seems to be answer enough. "Just talk to me. I'll always be there to listen. It doesn't matter if you think it's stupid.", he reminds me pulling me even closer. After hearing this I feel relieved, my mind slowly stops spinning and I suddenly get really tired again. "Please don't leave.", I hear myself whisper barely catching his reaction before I fall asleep. "Never.", he mumbles in my ear and I drift off peacefully.

A.N
Sorry for the delay I got sick so I wasn't able to post but since I feel better now I thought I'd just do it now. Hope you guys are enjoying the story so far and are having a great day, night, etc.