You're safe with me

Boundaries

"Thank you for doing something about this, I honestly don't know, how much longer I'd have been able to do this for, if I didn't know it'd be over soon." Felix says, as I take the first plate from him to dry and put away. "Yeah, I mean I get Idol life is hectic but I just felt like things were getting out of hand." I reply. We're almost done washing up, when Felix starts talking again. "Is it just me or have Minho and Jisung been acting different, towards each other I mean?" he asks and I look at him, confused. "You know... they suddenly seem so shy around each other. I wonder what happened." I just shrug, sure they've been acting different but not more different than usual. "It's probably nothing." I say and now it's his turn to shrug. "You're probably  right. And even if there's something, they're old enough to figure it out themselves." I just nod as I put away the last bowel. "I wonder, what the others are doing." I say, as Felix pulls out his phone. "Hyunjin an Jeongin went out shopping, Hyunjin just texted me. "That still leaves Chan and Minho." I remind him. "They must still be talking. I wonder what they're talking about." he says. "Anyways, I'll go clean my room, I've been putting that off for way too long." he tells me, before going through the cabinets to look for trash bags and cleaning supplies. "I can help you clean, I don't have anything to do anyway." I offer, knowing how messy he can be. "Really? That would be great." he sounds so relived that I can't help but laugh. Felix joins in and after we calmed ourselves, we finally get to his room to start cleaning. To my surprise, it isn't even that messy, just dirty, the floor being covered in crumps and dust, not to mansion the big pile of dirty laundry in the corner. "Let's tidy first, then clean the desk, bed and then the closet and shelves and do the floors last so we don't ruin them by walking over them while they're still wet." I say, mapping everything out and quickly creating a system in my head. "Sounds good." Felix says as he goes to start with the desk. "Let's do the floor first, so we don't trip and possibly get hurt." I suggest, making him stop in his tracks. "I didn't even think about that, but you're right." he admits and instead starts picking up some wrappers, which are scattered all over the floor. I quickly move to help him, handing him one of the trash bags. After the floor is cleared of all the trash and laundry, we move on to his desk, which actually doesn't take too long, so we quickly move on to his nightstand, which just has some empty water bottles and used tissues that need to be thrown out. After all that we move to the messiest part, his closest. "No one needs that many clothes." I say annoyed. "It's not always about needing something." he explains, but I just role my eyes at him. "I still think you should tidy out and donate the stuff you don't wear, otherwise it just takes up space." he just nods. "Thank you for helping me, I think I can do the rest myself." I nod and leave the room, deciding to finally look for Chan. I go to his room, thinking he might have gone back to bed, instead I find him and Minho sitting on the foot of his bed, looking at me. "Hey Minnie, what's up?" Chan asks nervously. "Nothing, I was just wondering what you're up to." he smiles. "Nothing much, I was just talking to Minho." he answers looking at him. I suddenly remember Felix's words and start wondering, if there might actually be something going on. "Do you want me to leave?" this time Minho is the one to answer. "I think we're done here." he says getting up. I give Chan a questioning look but he just shrugs. After Minho's gone, I take his places next to Chan. "How are you doing?" he asks after a moment, my head now on his shoulder. "I'm okay, missed you though." I say honestly. "I never left." he argues, but I just role my eyes at him.  "You know what I mean." I say, annoyed.   "I missed you too Angel" he says softly, putting his arm around me. The name makes my whole body tingle not having heard it in so long. "How about you rest some more, you really need it." I tell him gently. He looks at me and nods. "Can you stay though?" I can't help but chuckle, since I'm usually the one to make these requests nowadays. I nod nonetheless, happy to finally be close to him again. So I just lie there in his arms, my head buried in his chest, taking in his scent and the feeling of his warm body against mine. It fills me with so much contentment that I soon find myself sound asleep. When I wake up about 1,5 hours later, I find Chan already awake, looking at me with a soft smile. "Creep." is the first thing I say, causing him to laugh slightly. "Hello to you too." he says, pretending to be annoyed. There is a moment of silence, before he leans in to kiss me. The kiss is soft and gentle, making me sigh, which gives him an opportunity to deepen the kiss. Once he pulls away, my face is flushed and my breathing slightly flat. "You okay?" he asks, caressing my hair. "Yeah." I answer, still a little out of breath. "Do you want to stop?" he continues and I quickly shake my head. He leans back in, gently kissing my face, making me giggle and melting away all the unwanted tension that would've become a problem later on. He moves to my neck, lightly sucking as he moves down, making me worry about possible marks. "Ch-Chan, s-stop!" I whine, making him stop immediately, and look at me. "What's wrong, Angel?" he asks worriedly. "Please don't leave any marks." I tell him and he strokes my face gently. "If you don't want me to, I won't." he assures me. He suddenly sits up, appearing to be deep in thought. "Can I ask you something?" I nod. "Since you're still very insecure about these kinds of things, I was thinking, maybe we could try using the traffic light system and set up a safe word?" I look at him, confused. "What do you mean by that?" he offers me his hand and pulls me up, to sit next to him. "The traffic light system, is a way for me to know how you feel about something, without too much of an explanation." he pauses for a moment. "That means, if you feel fully comfortable with something and I ask you for your colour, your answer would be green. If you need to slow down/ take a break or are worried about certain aspects, like the hickey situation just now, you'd say yellow. If you don't feel comfortable with something at all, like if I suddenly did something we've never done before or some thing and I ask you for your colour I want you to answer red with no hesitation. I will stop immediately and wait to see if you want to continue with something else or just stop altogether." he explains and I listen intently. "Sounds good, but you also said something about a safe word?" I remind him. "I did. A safe word is basically the same as red but you don't have to wait for me to ask for your colour to use it, like if something was green but something suddenly changes and it becomes red, you say that word and everything stops." I nod, feeling good about the idea of a safety net. "Thank you." I tell him and he smiles. "Of course, Angel. I know you, so I know that you might do some research about what I just told you. I won't try to keep you from doing so, I just want you to know that you might come across the term BDSM, I'm absolutely not into that kind of thing, so if you hear anything about it, just know that there is no reason to be scared.  I tried it once and those memories still make me uncomfortable." he says, shivering. "Anyways, I know this is a lot to process but do you have any questions right now?" my thoughts are racing, making me long for comfort and safety. "Can I have a hug?" I ask shyly. "Come here, it's a lot at once, huh?" I nod as I curl into his lap, resting my head against his shoulder. "Do you want to pick your save word now?" I nod again, lifting my head. I take a moment, trying to think of a word that is both easy to say and I would never use in an intimate context. "Any idea?" Chan asks and I nod slightly. "Sunflower." I say and I can feel the vibration of his silent chuckle. "Sunflower it is then." I can feel him press his lips to the top of my head. I want to be closer, so I press up on him more, wrapping my arms around his neck but some how it still isn't enough. "What's wrong, Angel?" he asks, as I keep moving around but before I can say anything, there's a knock at the door. It opens and reviles Felix standing in the door frame. "I'm meeting up with Hyunjin and Jeongin for lunch and was wondering, if you guys would like to come as well?" he says with a smile. Chan looks at me before answering. "When are you leaving?" Felix shrugs. "Probably in about 15-20 minutes." Chan nods slowly and I suddenly realise, I'm still in his lap, shuffling to sit beside him. "Okay, sounds good. Let's meet at the door in 15." he decides, making Felix nod and leave the room. "So, can you tell me what's wrong?" he turns his attention back to me, after the door is closed. I shake my head in response.  "I don't understand it myself, I just want to be close to you but no matter how close I get, it's not close enough." I tell him, voice whiny in frustration. He chuckles slightly. "Poor Angel, I think I know how to help you. How about we go eat lunch and after, we'll take all the time we need to make you feel better?" he offers, making me smile. "How about you go get ready? We don't want to make Felix wait." I nod and make my way to my room.

Chan's pov

Since I'm already dressed and have no intention of changing, I decide to go down-stairs. As I walk down the stairs, I see Felix on his phone, on the sofa.
"Where's Seungmin?" he asks, turning around. "He should be ready any minute." I assure him, as I get closer. "What's up with him by the way? He's been clinging to you all day." I can't help but laugh a little as I think about how Seungmin would react if I said what I think is going on out loud to him. Felix looks at me expectantly. "Honestly, I think he's just horny and doesn't know how to deal with it." Felix smiles. "Poor Seungmin, so mature yet so innocent." he coos. "You should help him, he looked so frustrated when I came in earlier." he tells me. "On a different note, do you know anything about what's going on between Minho and Jisung?" he asks and the atmosphere immediately changes. During my conversation with Minho earlier I promised him not to say anything as long as he was being honest. After a while of reassuring him, he told me how he's had a crush on him for years but always thought he was straight and when he then told me about their kiss and how they haven't really talked since, I could tell it was burdening him. I obviously don't want to see him suffer, so I promised him to talk to Jisung about it as soon as possible. I of course can't tell Felix that but as I'm thinking of something to say, I see Seungmin coming down the stairs. "You ready?" I ask Felix in front of me, who is also looking back now. He nods as he turns back around. On second glance, I notice that the hoodie Seungmin is wearing is actually one of mine, which makes me smile and also provides more evidence to proof my suspicions.