Look at Me - H.S.

~ Chapter 21 ~

As the vibrations of the music swirl around my body, my hips move to match the pace of the beat. My arms rise effortlessly and sway above my head. Kathy's movements match my own as she stands in front of me and we enjoy the freeing feeling, that the copious amounts of alcohol we have consumed, grants us with.

Our meal at the Thai restaurant was so delicious, Kathy couldn't help but laugh at me every time my eyes rolled to the back of my head and I moaned after each mouthful. She really is great and it didn't take long for my nerves and overthinking to ease once I was in her company again. The evening so far has been filled with easy conversation and so many laughs that I haven't even had to make an effort to free my mind of all the shit that is usually whirring away up there.

Bailey and Elodie called me while I was getting ready to let me know that they had made it to the villa and what they had planned to do for the rest of their day. It put an immediate smile on my face. As much as I'm going to miss seeing them face to face for the next month, I know that they're having the best time, so whatever I'm feeling is totally irrelevant. Their happiness is what's important.

We have been in this cocktail bar for a couple of hours now, I'm not even sure that where we're dancing is a designated dance floor but we're having fun and I'm fresh out of fucks to give right now.

This place is nice. Not too fancy that I feel out of place in jeans but fancy enough that I'm glad I wore heels. I was relieved when Kathy showed up wearing a similar choice of outfit to me. Her top is a loose, white, satin camisole, her jeans are a darker shade of blue than mine and her shoes are strappy sandals with a block heel. She looks beautiful. She always looks beautiful though, as if it takes no effort whatsoever. Her chocolate brown hair is always poker straight and falls to the middle of her back when its down, although tonight she has opted for a sleek, high pony. Since we arrived, she has insisted on taking an excessive amount of selfies on both of our phones as well as a couple of each of us on our own. I guess it makes a nice change to have some photos of myself.

As we walked through the door of the bar, her three friends were here waiting for us. Tommy, James and Ellen. She introduced us all to each other and they all seem very sweet. James and Ellen are both 29 and have been together for almost a year. It's so obvious how in love they are. Their constant need to touch one another and the way they give their full attention to each other as they speak is really fucking cute. Tommy isn't shy about showing how much he fancies the absolute pants off Kathy and although she's a little flirty with him, I'm not too sure why she's holding herself back. The guy is bloody handsome and he seems genuinely lovely. I'll have to ask her about it later.

I'm not sure if Kathy had pre-warned them about me in any way but they somehow knew to give me time, time to just observe and decide when i was ready to join in any conversation they were having. Honestly, it didn't take long at all. My gut was telling me that i was safe around them, that they wouldn't make me feel like an idiot as soon as I opened my mouth and I really appreciated their patience with me. I'm slowly learning that not everyone is going to hate me, like maybe I am an okay person that people can stand to be around.

As the song comes to an end, I lean down to Kathy's ear, "I'm just nipping to the loo."

"Okay" she nods, "you want me to come with?"

"No, no, I'm fine. You go speak to Tommy." I wink at her and she rolls her eyes in return, trying to hide her devious little smirk as she heads back towards the bar where everyone else is standing. I shuffle through the crowds of people, internally praising myself for staying upright on my heels. My head definitely feels a bit swishy and I'm debating whether or not I should start drinking some water instead of another cocktail. I really don't want to throw up at Harry's later and with the mix of drinks I've had tonight, there's a high possibility of that happening.