Look at Me - H.S.

~ Chapter 14 ~

I've been running around like a headless chicken all morning. I'm flipping exhausted and it's not even midday. Luckily, there's not much left to do, today has to be perfect. It's June 18th which means Elodie turns 10 years old today and we're having a party.

The huge bouncy castle is in the back garden, inflated and ready to be pounced on by her and her friends. The playlist with all her favourite songs is ready on my phone and the Bluetooth speaker is set up ready to go. The gazebo is up on the decking with chairs set out for those people who would rather sit in the shade. The fridge is stocked with beers, soft drinks and jugs of squash and the meat for the BBQ is ready to be cooked once people arrive. I've made a huge bowl of salad, a bowl of coleslaw and a potato salad. The buns have all been sliced. The balloons have been blown up, the banners have been hung and the cake has been collected. I need a nap.

Mark got up at 9am and went to get a haircut, there must've been a queue at the barbers because he hasn't made it back yet. The guests are due to arrive at 1.30pm and Bailey and Elodie are upstairs getting ready.

Checking the kitchen and back garden for what must be the 4th time, I realise there's not much else I can do until everyone is here and I have to go into host-mode. I decide it's time for a shower and make my way upstairs. I poke my head around the door of Bailey's room and see the intense concentration on her face as she swipes a bright pink eyeshadow onto Elodie's eyelids. Smiling to myself I leave them to it and head into my own room.

Feeling the pressure of looking somewhat presentable today, seeing as my parents and some of Marks friends will be here later, I decide to apply a small amount of makeup and tie my hair into a low messy bun, pulling out some of the strands at the front to frame my face a little. My dress is an orange broderie maxi dress, it has a square neckline and oversized 3/4 length puff sleeves. Hopefully Mark approves. I'm showing as little skin as possible and it hides all of the parts of myself that I'm most self conscious about. Pairing it with my black Birkenstocks, because, you know, comfort is key, I head back downstairs just as Mark enters the front door. It's 1:15 so he's just in time, thank god.

Looking me up and down as I descend the stairs, there's an unreadable expression on his face.
"That what you're wearing?" He asks, making me stop in my tracks.
"Mhmm" I hum, nodding gently, searching his eyes for some sort of idea as to whether he likes it or not. There's silence for a few seconds before he checks his watch and mutters, "well, you don't have time to change now so it'll have to do" and continues on into the kitchen, hanging his jacket up under the stairs on the way.
I swallow the lump in my throat and take a deep breath.
Fucking failed again.

As I reach the bottom step the girls come bounding across the landing, stopping when they see me at the bottom. "Wow, mum!" Elodie exclaims. "That dress is so pretty, you look really lovely" - "you really do" Bailey agrees. There's a fondness on their faces that makes me appreciate them even more than I already do while I give a an overly confident "thanks, girls" in reply, holding my arms out to the side and twirling in a circle so the bottom of the dress flows outwards.
I catch Marks gaze as he looks on from the kitchen doorway, rolling his eyes and muttering something under his breath that I can't hear. I choose to ignore him and look back up towards the two beautiful humans that I created, still standing at the top of the stairs.

"Get down here you beauties, let me get a good look at you!"

They both bolt towards me, almost knocking me over as they crash into me at the foot of the stairs.

"Oh, girls you both look so, so beautiful!" I cheer, wrapping my arms around them both.

Elodie is wearing a pair of blue denim shorts with a simple, bubblegum pink peplum t-shirt, her makeup expertly done by her big sister, the pink eyeshadow making her blue eyes pop. Her hair is in two French braids in order to keep it out of her face for the busy day ahead.
Bailey is sporting a pair of black denim shorts which have little daisies embroidered on them with a white crop t-shirt. She's gone with a messy bun today, keeping it stylish yet casual at the same time.
Both of them with bare feet, ready for the bouncy castle that they're eager to make the most of.
We all painted our toes last night using the navy blue from Harry's Pleasing range that he let me keep from the last time I was at his house, I'm sure it has a more fancy name than navy blue but I can't remember what it is.