Look at Me - H.S.

~ Chapter 33 ~

As my heart tries with all it's might to escape my chest, I stand with wide eyes and raised eyebrows. My head flicking to look at all three men, one after the other and back again. When I eventually decide to stop, my gaze lands on Harry. He looks almost afraid, his own eyes flitting between me and Tom. The silence in the room is deafening. I want to laugh. It's taking more effort than I'd like to admit to keep it inside.

They're not serious. Surely, they're not fucking serious.

It's their straight faces that make it apparent that they are. Not even a twitch of a smile between them. My breath starts to match the speed of my heart and I fist my hands by my side to stop them from trembling.

"Wha...I-I can't. N-No," I stutter, frantically shaking my head, nervous laughter splutters from my lips. I notice Harry take a slow step towards me, his hands held out in front of him as if he's approaching a hungry lion and I find myself taking a step back. My laughter halts abruptly and our eyes lock.

"Cass, just let me explain, yeah?" he asks, the tone of his voice low and gentle.

"Explain what? You brought me here to embarrass me?" The sharpness of my answer doesn't go unnoticed, and I can see Tom and Tyler exchange a glance from the corner of my eye.

"Embarrass you? No, Cassie. I would never - " He sighs and shakes his head with furrowed brows instead of finishing the sentence, as if he can't believe I would accuse him of such a thing. See, the thing is, I would never have thought he was capable of it either, yet here we are. Stood in a bloody music studio, with actual professionals and now their first impression of me is that I'm this scared little mouse who gets skittish at the mere thought of singing, when this is their everyday job.

What the hell has he told them? 

Oh God, they think I'm an idiot. Fucking, perfect.

The thoughts whirring in my brain distract me from the fact that Harry is now standing right in front of me. His knees slightly bent to enable his eyes to be level with mine, but I can't focus anymore. I need to leave.

"I-I just need some air," I blurt, before he has a chance to say any more. I turn my body and brush past him as I head for the door. As soon as I'm back in the corridor, I frantically try to remember the way we came in. I was too in awe of everything to pay enough attention but there's got to be an exit sign somewhere, right? Just as I turn a corner, I see it. The big FIRE EXIT sign lit up in red above a grey metal door. My arm is outstretched before I'm even close enough to touch it, ready to push down the metal bar that will free me from this building, from this feeling. The feeling of...I'm not even sure what. Dread? Panic? Betrayal? Wait, that's a bit much. Chill your beans, drama queen. He hasn't betrayed me, and we both know the longest I've ever stayed mad at him is approximately 4 minutes, before his stupid dimply smile is making me forget everything. Only, it's not stupid, is it? It's fucking glorious, which is exactly why I need to get away right now, I need to be mad at him a little longer. I just need to not see him for a little while. I need to calm myself down and think about this. Why did I just practically piss my pants back there? Like, why did that feeling of fear spread through me so bloody quickly? Fuck, I am an idiot, aren't I?

When I exit the big metal door of freedom, I carry on walking until I reach his car.

The car that I don't have the fucking keys for! Shit!

Like the grown up I am, I decide quite swiftly that my best option is to hide. I walk around the other side of H's car and sit on the dusty floor with my back against the driver's side door. Just as my bum hits the floor, I hear the slam of the door I just escaped through and freeze. I know it's Harry so I'm not sure why my brain is causing me to act as if I'm trying to escape an axe murderer in some corny scary movie, but I hold my breath, somehow hoping that it makes me invisible.