Rain Fall / dnf

| 005 |

Tw: alcohol and weed

I have stayed in bed for the past two days, and now Friday coming to an end.

I can't move, I feel numb from my head to my toes. I've been thinking about the letter, thinking about Sapnap and Clay.

I hate this. Existing in a world where people could give less of a shit about you and you're feelings.

Leo has texted me six times in the past day. No idea how he found my number again.

I haven't eaten since the other day, and all I ate that day was some crackers and peanut butter that Punz had.

He sat with me for the rest of the day yesterday and comforted me as we watched a series we started last week together.

He truly is my best friend since he knows my favourite snack.

He asked me what was wrong but I remained silent, not wanting to bother him and complain about problems that he would definitely take to heart.

I know he doesn't mean to Big Brother me, but he does it anyway which makes it even more infuriating.

The door whips open and a sweaty punz comes in, running a hand through his hair as he slams the door.

"George! George?!" He shouts in a panicked voice.

"What" I mutter tiredly, pulling the comforter over my shoulders.

"Oh thank god.." he takes deep breaths as he falls over onto the wood-tiled floor.

I sit up, rubbing my eyes as I look at him questioningly.

"Are you alright?..." I ask.

"Yep!" He sighs, putting a hand to his forehead, "Someone said there was screaming from the dorms but turns out it was just a couple of guys playing Val and drinking"

"So you came to check on me?" I ask.

"Yep! Just making sure you're alright," he says out of breath, panting as his chest rises and lowers.

"Where were you?"

"Bringing drinks to the party house. Are you coming tonight?" He asks.

I chew on my bottom lip, thinking of practically everything that could go wrong.

I was hoping Punz would stay here and watch our show together. Talk and laugh and have fun while not being drunk and tired.

My thoughts run back to Clay, wanting to talk and see him again.

God, what the fuck is wrong with me?

Why do I all of a sudden want to talk to Clay all the time? He's always in my head now.

"George?" Punz asks quietly.

"Uh yeah- yeah sorry" I yawn, "sure I'll go"

"Sweet!" Punz puts his fist in the air and smiles, "wanna drink too?"

"Okay maybe you're going too far—" I laugh.

"Oh I'm sure you'll be in a corner somewhere, smoking seven cigarettes while watching kids dance," Punz says.

"Wow, you've got me all figured out" I joke.

"Who knows maybe you'll meet your knight and shining armour" Punz grins, "let's go"

He stands up, hand stretched out towards me.

I groan as I roll my eyes.

"Oh come on! Get ready it's almost sundown! We can dance by the water and watch the sun go down!" Punz laughs.