Unwanted--BTS--Soulmate AU

Bulletproof

*Slight trigger warning- description of a heavy panic attack*

Song one of chapter: My Blood by Echos

I slunk down further into the plush cushions of the sofa in the soul therapist's office, content to ignore the stilted attempts at conversation in front of me. I had been staring out of the window for the past five minutes or so. The tree outside was swaying in the sharp wind that whipped through all of Seoul, blowing several leaves off of its branches.

It was full on Autumn now, and the trees were starting to shed their multicolored leaves. The days no longer held any warmth. Chill, windy days that promised of frigid nights had replaced the heat of the sun. I really loved Autumn, but only up until the point when the trees lost all of their color. I hated seeing their bare branches. Something about it depressed me.

It had been roughly three and a half weeks since I had fallen ill. During that time, Yoongi had stayed true to his word and kept up scheduled skin contact times with me. I ended up sleeping in his bed permanently, since no one thought I'd be able to make it through the night.

I also hadn't forgotten our "deal" to swap sexual favors. For the first few days after we started sleeping next to one another, I went to bed with a nervous excitement. I was usually in bed first and he would end up joining me hours later, ignoring me completely save for an arm around my waist or a leg pressed against mine. But it wasn't long before I realized that Yoongi had probably bluffed the entire time in an effort to scare me off. I wasn't sure if I was disappointed or relieved.

Even though it was uncomfortable at the very least, Yoongi's constant presence had ensured that I didn't have any more episodes. I never even felt so much as a headache. However, I still wasn't able to go back to work. BigHit didn't think it was a good idea for Yoongi to attend school with me and Dr. Lee had put his foot down, saying that I couldn't risk being so far from Yoongi, even if just for a few hours. So, I reluctantly put in for long-term leave.

Lyle and Penny, to my dismay, supported my leave, both of them telling me that I needed to focus on my wellbeing. They knew how shitty it was for me to be trapped in this situation, but they kept telling me to see it as an extended vacation. Lyle had hopped on the Namjoon train and encouraged me to try and make it work with Yoongi. Penny was much more reluctant. She only endorsed my closeness with Yoongi for health reasons, but she never had a kind word to say about him.

Tae and I were at a standstill. Despite my initial reaction, I had taken what Namjoon had told me into serious consideration and I decided to try to get closer to Yoongi. I still spent a lot of time with Tae, but I kept my hands to myself and tried to project "friend zone" vibes. He seemed to pick up on some of my reluctancy around him, but he never stopped calling me jagi or reaching out to touch my hand or brush my hair off my face. He did keep it to a minimum around Yoongi though, which I was grateful for, but he was always watching me closely with those deep, unfathomable eyes.

My sickness also made attending soul therapy mandatory, at least in the eyes of BigHit. We had to report to our soul therapy sessions twice a week. Dr. Lee was alarmed by my sudden illness and so he cracked down on us and BigHit followed suit. They threatened Yoongi with violating his contract if he didn't attend. To him, it was just another reason to hate me. He never wasted an opportunity to remind me that he could be working if he didn't have to do this "shit."

Our sessions usually consisted of our assigned therapist, Dr. Song, attempting to coax Yoongi into speaking about why he felt the need to sever our bond, and when he stubbornly refused, she would try to get me to talk about how I felt about Yoongi's standoffishness. Which, I refused to do as well because I would be damned if I spilled my guts in front of him, just for him to laugh at me. Honestly, it was really strange to have him holding onto my wrist, rubbing his thumb over my soul mark while simultaneously refusing to acknowledge me.