Unwanted--BTS--Soulmate AU

Confession

I sat on the edge of my hospital bed with my hands clasped together as Drs. Yun and Lee went over my discharge paperwork. I licked my dry lips and nodded along with his instructions. Yoongi was somewhere else in the hospital making arrangements with the finance office. He had informed me that he was taking care of my hospital bill and I tried to argue but it was like coming up against a brick wall. He was immovable and I was too tired to fight him on it, so I let him pay.

We had both been subdued after our agreement to talk, saving our energy for the coming exchange. We'd agreed that we needed to have the discussion in private, after we left the hospital. I was both dreading it and ready for it to be done with it. I hated this unsure, grey space we were in. The bubble was nice for a short time, but I knew that it wouldn't last. There were just too many unknowns and hurts between us.

I signed the final page of the discharge paperwork and both of the Drs. wished me luck before leaving me alone in my room. I sat in the silence, feeling unsure about how to be by myself. Ever since I had awoken, I wasn't allowed to be left alone for longer than five minutes. I was constantly surrounded by doctors and nurses. Yoongi was the worst of them all. It didn't matter that we couldn't make physical contact–Yoongi was a stage five clinger nonetheless. He was always around, just hovering over me, and he watched me like a hawk during every meal, every check up, and every test. He rarely left my side. I was too confused by his behavior to be annoyed about it though.

I sighed and stood up. My strength was returning and I felt pretty steady on my feet but I wasn't able to go long distances without getting exhausted. I looked around, unsure of what to do while I waited for Yoongi.

I didn't really have a bag to pack since I didn't have any stuff here. Yoongi had gotten Namjoon to bring some clothes and essentials up here for me, but it wasn't much. My special leaving-the-hospital outfit consisted of baggy jeans and a long sleeved t-shirt that I suspected was actually Yoongi's.

After Lyle and Penny had visited me, I wondered why I hadn't been visited by any of the members. When I brought it up to Yoongi, he had mentioned something about them not being able to get out much, which I thought was odd, but I didn't question it.

I stood in the middle of the room, twisting my fingers together, suddenly feeling anxious. I was still so unsure about everything and I was so nervous that the Yoongi I had been seeing the past week was just an illusion. I couldn't let myself hope that he had changed. Not when I still didn't know what had prompted him to do so, or why he had turned on me so viciously that fateful night.

My mind kept replaying the way Yoongi had pleaded with me to let him explain himself. It seemed pretty damned heartfelt, but it was just so at odds with the cruelty he had shown me before. Was this all just another game to him? I had already been stripped bare and reduced down to my bleeding, raw core because of him. I couldn't handle another heartbreak. If it happened again, I wouldn't need to take drastic measures against myself since I was certain I would just die of heartache on the spot.

My increasingly spiraling thoughts were interrupted by Yoongi coming back into the room. He came up short when he saw me standing there alone.

"What's going on? Where are the doctors?" he asked, his eyes darting around the room.

"They discharged me. We're free to go," I responded quietly.

His eyes snapped back to mine and he inhaled deeply. "Alright. Are you ready?"

I shrugged. "Yes...but where are we going?"

"I figured we'd go back to my apartment," he told me nonchalantly.

I stilled. "Not there," I breathed.

His brow furrowed but he nodded slowly. "Okay. The dorm then."

I shook my head and wrapped my arms around myself as flashbacks of the last time I was there ran through me. I thought I'd never see it again, and I didn't think I was ready to face it yet.