The things we can't control

Chapter 15

"Dad?" My voice cracked. He pulled me into a hug and for a moment I felt comfort until the conversation I had with mom came rushing back to me. I pushed away from him, "Why did you hurt mom?" I asked. From the expression on his face I could tell that I caught him off guard. "Did you even love her? Did you love Ben and I?" I wiped away the tears that were left on my face. "Of course I love you and Ben, you two mean everything to me." He replied. I could smell light perfume on his jacket. "But you didn't love her." I stated, with a little bit of anger.

"No, I did love Elena. I loved her for a long time, but one morning I woke up and-" "No you don't just wake up one morning and stop loving someone." I said in defense. He sighed, "One morning I woke up and felt different, Alice. I didn't stop loving your mom in one morning, it happened over time." I looked into his eyes and wished that it hadn't happened, then maybe none of this would have happened. "I don't understand," I whispered, a crack in my voice. "You wouldn't. It was also hard for me, because I really didn't want to hurt her. But I did, and pain isn't something you can take back."

"You should have left us dad. Pretending you loved her is what hurt her more. Cheating on her wasn't hard, don't give me that crap, she made it easy by letting you." I shoved past him and continued going to Dylan's house, someone I actually wanted to see. "I was afraid I'd lose you and Ben." He shouted. "Well you lost us anyway." I mumbled, hardly loud enough for him to hear. It was a gloomy day outside, and I couldn't think straight. 

Thirty minutes earlier

Dylan

"Oh god, Dylan. This isn't what it looks-" I slammed the door shut in disgust. I placed my hand on my stomach, went to my room, and closed the door behind me.

I'm sorry dad. You don't deserve this. This wasn't supposed to be happening. My dad wasn't supposed to have his heart broken. Not by mom, the woman he loved since tenth grade. I can't believe her. When I walked in, mom was kissing a tall man but I didn't catch his face because he had his back to me. My eyes narrowed with anger and I stormed into her room. They widened at the man that stood in front of me.

Are you fucking serious.

"Andrew??" I asked in shock. But soon my shock turned into fury. Oh, I'm gonna kill you. I charged at him with my fist ready for punching but as I got closer mom stood in front of him and held me back with her hands. "Don't hurt him. Dylan let me explain." She requested. I can't look at you right now. "I don't want to talk to you right now mom, or look at you." I answered. 

Mr. Garner still wasn't talking. You are such an ass. He had an innocent facial expression, as if he'd done nothing wrong. Mom sighed and lowered my arm. "Be angry at me, not him." She demanded. I was really tense and bothered, I was just as angry with my mom as I was with Andrew. "I am angry at you." I snapped. It just didn't make any sense to me. Why cheat? Did dad not make you happy enough? Are you just selfish? Thoughts ran through my head. It made my heart drop a little, because I felt dad's heart crumble. And Alice, Alice would probably never want to come here again. My mom ruined everything. I shook my head in frustration, "Just get out." I told him. His innocent expression turned sad as he reached for his coat, "Look, I'm really sorry." He finally spoke before leaving.

Once he was out of the room I turned to mom again, "I seriously can't believe you would do this to dad." I said. My anger wasn't anger anymore, it turned into disappointment. A big pile of disappointment. She stood and said nothing. "Wow, you really surprised me tonight. My mom is a cheating whore." I walked away. My words were harsher than they should have  been, maybe, but I was easily impulsive when I got angry. "Dylan," She said as I passed through the door. "I'm the one who tells him."

I still couldn't believe that what happened actually happened. I sighed and sunk deeply into my bed.

Oh what a twisted mess life is. I thought, staring at the blank ceiling. The love of my life has cancer. My dad is going to leave. My mom, well I'll never forgive her.

What a twisted mess it was.

After a few minutes of doing absolutely nothing but think, I sat up and turned my phone on. It was Wednesday and I had an English assignment due tomorrow but I just really wasn't in the assignment-doing mood. So I decided to text a friend.

3 unread messages

Messages (3) | Asher Norato | Edit

aight later

Nov 1, 2014 4:55 PM

You free to chill?

I looked through my other texts.

Messages (2) | Dad | Edit

4:02 pm

you didn't answer, everything okay?

4:11 pm

Dylan?

My face went sad thinking about what my dad was coming home to. He was a great man, and a great father.

3 unread messages

Messages (3)

Asher Norato: sorry can't today bro, see u tomrrow

Dad: Dylan?

ALICE: Thanks for the ride home, sorry if I was acting weird

Jeremy Cho: so you'd be cool if I went for her? sweet man  

Bethany Kurtis: mhm sureee

I didn't bother looking at the rest of my messages.

Well, looks like I'm doing my homework after all. I sighed and clicked my phone off.

I turned my laptop on and the doorbell rang.

I guess dad came a little earlier. Well here goes the yelling, possibly crying, and breaking of an innocent heart. I jumped off my bed and headed to the front door but mom was already there so I turned around. "Alice, hey how are you feeling?" I heard my mom say from downstairs. Alice. A small smile crept onto my face as I walked slowly down the steps. "Oh hey Mrs. Jacobson, I'm okay thanks. Uh, is Dylan around?" She asked. Something was wrong, I could hear it in her voice. I reached the bottom of the stairs and Alice looked at me with big eyes, a smile just barely on her face. "Looks like he's right here." Mom replied and walked off somewhere. I walked up to Alice and hugged her so tightly, her hair smelled like strawberries. I needed that hug more than I thought.

"I needed that." She told me after we let go. "I did too." We walked outside and sat on the porch. She looked at me with eyes that were puffy and red, then her eyes fluttered back down to the steps. "I don't know how to live anymore. I don't know how to live with all this pain." She quietly said."Tell me about it," I mumbled through a sigh. I put my hand on her chin and turned her face to me, "But Alice, you're stronger than you may think you are, I've seen it." I told her and let my hand fall. She sighed and leaned her head on my shoulder.

We didn't talk, we just sat there in silence. Sharing the warmth of our close bodies. Looking out into the street where cars passed every few minutes.

What a twisted mess our lives were. But I loved her, and she loved me. That's all I could have asked for.