The things we can't control

Chapter 6

October 6th

Dylan

        I woke up with her fingers tightly gripping my shirt. She held onto me as if she was going to fall, or as if she was holding the world. I couldn't figure out which. Her fingers were cold so I covered them with my hands hoping it would give her some warmth. The sun was going to wake up soon as it was six thirty AM. I could hear light sounds of waves hitting rocks; it was peaceful. But not as peaceful as Alice. I watched her sleep like vampires did in the movies. The corners of her lips were slightly curved into a smile and I wondered what she was dreaming about. Her head was rested on my chest, I smiled knowing she was close to my heart. 

Birds chirped and I watched a line of orange light kiss the horizon. The sun was saying hello to a new day and the moon said goodbye. Alice loosened her grip and rolled over.

She shivered a little because her sweater rolled up at the bottom, revealing her lower back. She had back dimples that I thought were really cute. I thought about how much I wanted her and how much I loved her. I was a normal sixteen year old guy with hormones pumping through me but it wasn't just that. I was in love with Alice. I loved the way she did things, the way she spoke with so much courage. I loved how her lip would twitch when she got nervous or how she always put her hair on her left shoulder and never her right. 

I gently rolled her sweater down so she wouldn't be cold. I had urges to move my body closer to hers and put my arm around her waist. But I just sat up and watched the sunrise. Talk about good self control. 

I was going to tell her that I loved her that time we went skydiving. But I was scared of ruining our friendship, she was only going to be in my life for six more months and I didn't want to lose her before I had to. My chest hurt. Thinking about Alice dying always had a part of me dying with her. I let myself lay down again on my back, placing both hands on my chest.

I heard her moan quietly as she rolled onto me again. Her blonde hair was a beautiful mess. I moved stray hairs out of her face which was now rested against my shoulder. The sun was up but the sky was still dim. Alice's eyes fluttered open. She yawned and noticed that her leg was over my body. Quickly, she moved away from me. No, don't do that. I liked when we touched, it gave me this funny but nice feeling in my stomach and, well, I don't need to mention. She rubbed her tired green eyes and stretched her arms above her head. I pretended to have just woken up so I groaned and rubbed my eyes too. "You awake?" She muttered. "Yeah, are you?" I joked. She quietly laughed and turned toward me, her smile was beautiful. "How did you sleep?' She asked with a sexy morning voice. I tried not to look at her lips, I want to kiss you. God why can't I kiss you? 

"I slept pretty good. You snored a lot though." I teased. I loved teasing her because she was just so cute when she was mad. She squinted her eyes at me but still managed to smile. "You're an awful liar." She said in defense. "No really, how could you ever know?" I laughed.

She rolled her eyes and gently pushed me. "How do you know you don't snore?" I ran my fingers through my hair and smiled, "Fair enough."

We looked at each other and laughed. She bit her lips and looked at mine. Self control. Dylan, self control. I went against my urges and sat up. She sat up too, pulling her knees into her chest and I beat myself up for being the biggest coward ever. I sighed and threw small rocks into the ocean.

She wouldn't want to kiss me anyway.