The things we can't control

Chapter 9

Alice

        My eyes opened and I was surprised to still be alive. I thought I was going to slip away but in a dream he told me he was in love with me and it felt so real. I loved him so much that I had to hold on. So there I was, still alive, surrounded by doctors and nurses with happy faces. I took a few painful breaths and let my eyelids flutter shut. The sound of my heart pumping rang loudly in my ears. It was steady, normal.

Once I had my eyes opened again I saw a blurry figure slowly approach me; I was lying on the hospital bed. I had recognized the scent and vibe of the person and as soon as my eyes went into focus I saw him again, Dylan Jacobson. I felt so weak that it was hard to even smile or keep my eyes open or breathe or move or do basically anything. But I was happy to see Dylan, even though I felt as if I was just with him. I missed him.

I weakly smiled as he sat in a chair beside the bed. He gently held my cold hands and looked at me with so much sadness but so much relief. "Alice, god, I'm so happy you're alive." He told me. I missed the gentle touch of his hands and the warmth of his eyes. I missed him like deserts missed the rain. But there he was, there was no need to miss him anymore, it rained. So I squeezed his hand and felt a little stronger than I did just moments before. "I missed you Dylan." I whispered. He leaned over and placed a kiss on my forehead, "I missed you." He said after. 

The dream came back to me instantly, Dylan telling me he was in love with me. I also remembered sitting with him under the stars and getting so close you would have thought we kissed. Then this, a kiss on my forehead. I put together the pieces and concluded with one question.

Does he love me back? 

There was only one way to find out.

It took courage that I finally had. I pushed myself upright and threw my legs off the side of the bed so that I was sitting up, facing him. He looked at me with curious eyes. I stared at his chocolate brown eyes, then to his lips, and back to his eyes. His pupils dilated and I wasn't sure if it meant anything but without thinking much longer I slowly leaned forward. At that point he realized what I was doing and didn't back away from it. He placed his warm hand on my neck and pulled me in closer. Before touching my lips to his, we stared into each others eyes, it was just for a moment. That was when I knew that he loved me too, his eyes said it all.

Dylan looked down to my lips before kissing them, and when our lips touched, the butterflies in my stomach turned into dragons. I felt really warm inside, but it was nice because of how cold I felt before. The kiss was soft and amazing. It was really the best feeling to kiss someone you've wanted to kiss for so long, especially when you were in love with them. We held the kiss for seven seconds. When we pulled away our foreheads were still touching and we looked each other in the eyes. My best friend is a really good kisser, wow. "I love you." I whispered with some uncertainty. I was certain I loved him, but still couldn't get used to the idea that he felt the same. 

He kissed my nose, "Really? Because there's a funny coincidence, I love you." 

I took my hands away from the back of his neck to pinch my arm. I needed to make sure I wasn't dreaming. He looked at me with a raised eyebrow and laughed. 

"You're not dreaming." He told me with a grin on his face. I laughed and bit my lip, "Just making sure." I still couldn't believe it though. He placed his hand on my forehead, "you have a small temperature, should get some more rest," he suggested. I nodded and got back into the hospital bed. "I'll see you soon Alice. Also, I think Sugar misses you. She's been barking a lot since you've been here, or she could possibly just hate me." He chuckled.

I joked, "Yeah, she probably does."  

He smiled adorably and turned to leave. As he walked out the door I couldn't help but smile my biggest smile as I thought about what had just happened. I touched my lips gently with my fingers remembering the incredible feeling of his. That better happen again, I thought. Quickly, I pulled out my notebook from under the pillow and opened it up to the second last page. I grabbed a pen from the desk beside the bed and pressed it against the paper.

6:40 pm 

I don't know why I'm still writing in this but Dylan you told me you loved me and then we kissed and I died. Literally died... minus the death part. 

I'm so happy because I love you so much and it feels so good knowing that you feel the same. You don't even know. Actually, now that I think about it you probably do know. I even forgot about cancer and the whole dying thing. That's how happy you made me feel. Thank you.

Best. Day. Ever.

I closed the book and hugged it tightly into my chest. With a smile I sighed, a happy sigh of course.