Trapdoor

Chapter 4

Today was Friday, the last day of 11th grade, also the day me and Josh would hang out for the first time since meeting at the hospital. Of course we had talked over the phone and texted since then.

I sat through all my classes barley saying anything, just waiting for the bell to ring. It was nerve wrecking.

When the bell rang for lunch, I jumped up from my chair and walked as fast as I could to my lunch table. Why couldn't this day go any faster?

I stood in line, not able to keep still. It felt like I was in line forever. I've never been like this for anyone, not even my closest friends. I tried to shake my hands to try and get some energy out, but that just made me want to move more.

I collected my lunch as fast as possible and sat down, making Brendon jump and drop his fork."Jesus Christ, Tyler."

I pushed my lunch away and started pumping my leg. I just wanted this day to go faster so I could see Josh. I knew we had made a connection, talking to him felt so right. I couldn't get enough of hearing his voice. God, I fell so hard and so fast for this boy.

I was afraid that it was going to go badly or that he wouldn't like me anymore. I didn't want that to happen because he made me feel better, made me feel like I was worth saving. I didn't want to lose him in anyway.

"You ok there, Ty?" Patrick poked.

I didn't even look up at him, I kept staring down at my legs. I wanted to tell him how nervous I was about hanging out with Josh. Tell him about my small crush on him, it felt like I needed to or my head would explode. But I didn't. I just nodded my head.

"Nah," Brendon teased. "He just can't wait to meet up with his boyfriend after school."

I made the mistake of telling Brendon about Josh and what had happened. Now he won't leave me alone about it. You know, I wanna punch him sometimes.

I stopped looking down at the ground and looked up at my friend, grumbling. "He's not my boyfriend."

"Ah, but you wish he was." Brendon smiled, smugly.

I huffed, letting my head rest in my hands. "Shut up."

Mark stuffed. "You've only known him for a week."

"So?" Patrick asked. "Why does it matter? They've talked a lot and you should have seen them talking at the hospital. It was like they were meant to be friends, or even more."

Brendon snorted, making me roll my eyes. "Wow Patty, I didn't know you were such a sap."

He just shrugged.

"So have you talked to Pete at all?" I asked, looking up at Patrick.

"Um- well I d-dont know if it really c-counts as talking." Patrick was blushing hard.

We all laughed. "I'm just kidding."

For the rest of the day I couldn't stop glancing at the clock. It never moved fast enough, making me twitch in my seat. Having the time move so slow made me think. It made me think about every little thing that could go wrong. What if I say or do something dumb? What if he doesn't like me.

I had to try and push those thoughts away and try and focus on what the teacher was saying, but the words didn't come together. They didn't make sense. So instead I wrote. I wrote about everything and nothing. And before I knew it the bell for the end of the day rang.

I don't think I've gotten out of my seat faster. I picked up all my note books and papers and left the room as quickly as possible. I weaved through other students in the hallway that were tying to leave as fast as I was.