Trapdoor

Chapter 20

"Josh?" I whispered close to his ear, trying to wake him. "Joshua."

Josh turned a little and mumbled something I couldn't quite hear. His head moved after a moment so it lay next to mine. This was better because now his jaw was closer to my lips.

"Joshy boy," I mumbled, laying a kiss to his jaw.

He hummed, lifting his head as I planted another kiss on his jaw.

"Are you awake yet?" I asked.

"No." He grumbled back, smiling when I kissed his jaw again.

I let out a surprise squeak when he wrapped his arms around me, trapping my arms to my side. Josh smiled mischievously at me, leaning his head closer to mine. I squirmed and giggled while trying to get away.

"Josh, what are you doing?" I asked, trying to crane my head back and away from his.

"Just hold still." He laughed at my feeble attempts to get away.

It had been a few months after Brendon and stuff had broken me out of the hospital. That night had been one of the greatest of my life. We went all over the city, going to different stores and places. At the end of the night we had ended up at Josh's. He wasn't happy that my friends had done what they did, but took me off their hands anyways.

We had kissed and touched. That night with Josh was one that I could never forget, even if I had tried. He told me he loved me and that I was his world. We made love. I never wanted him to leave, not ever for any reason. Josh was my light.

"Okay." I whispered and fell still, waiting for whatever he was going to do.

So when his lips touched mine it felt like all the air in my lungs, like everything was nonexistent, like time had stopped just for us. I felt timeless with him and I loved it. I loved how we had all the time in the world for moments like this.

"I love you." He whispered back after we broke apart.

I smiled at him, drinking him in. His hair was blue now and it was very messy, his eyes looked tired from just waking up, yet alive and ready for anything, and his lips as they quirked into a smile. That's when I realized I wanted to wake to this man every morning for my whole life.

I was in love with him, more in love with him then I'd ever been able to feel. "I love you, too."

All the time in the world I reminded myself.

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"What do you mean you have a surgery tomorrow?" I crossed my arms as I scuffed.

"It's not a big deal, Ty." Josh said, trying to make me look at him, but I turned away even further, mad that he didn't tell me sooner.

"Well how long have you known about it?" I pushed his arms away. "How many times could you have told me?"

Josh looked hurt that I had pushed him away, but looked at the ground in shame. "I've known for a week now."

That's when the anger really hit me. I got up and pushed him away from me. "You've known for a week and didn't tell me!?"

He put his hands up to hold my hands back as I lashed out. "It's nothing serious, they just have to go in a remove a small tumor."

"A tumor!?" I yelled again, trying to hit his chest. "It's a fucking tumor, Josh! Do you know how many people die from small tumors!?"

I was scared for him, I didn't want anything to happen to him. I didn't want to lose him.

"Tyler," he soothed and he hugged me, my fists against his chest. I didn't realize that I was crying until there were wet marks on his shirt from my tears. "They wouldn't have held off for a week if it was bad, I'll be fine."

I sobbed into his shirt as he rubbed circles into my back. "I'm scared, Josh."

"Don't be, baby boy." His voice was soft and soothing. "I have something for you after I'm done."

"Really?" I hiccuped looking up at him.

"Yes. Maddy helped me pick it." He told me, willing the tears from my face. "So don't be sad okay? I don't want you to worry, okay?"

I nodded, hugging him back, mumbling into his shirt. "I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry."

"I love you, Josh."

"I love you too, Tyler."

Things would be okay after tomorrow. I  hoped and prayed that he would be okay, that he would get better. If something happened to him, I don't know what's I would do.