Trapdoor

Chapter 8

Me and Josh sat in my bed, watching The Walking Dead. It was right after getting home from my chemo and Josh had gotten me comfortable, cuddled up to his side.

"Josh?" I asked.

Josh was playing with my hair."Yeah?"

"Can you help me shave my hair?" I looked up at him from my spot on my bed.

I had been thinking about it for awhile, I thought about it a week ago, I thought about it on the car ride back to my house from the hospital. And Josh just looked at me.

I wish he would just say something instead of just looking at me. I couldn't read his face, it was blank. I didn't like it.

"Come on, will you help me or make me do it all by myself?" I asked, a half-hearted smile playing on my lips.

But he seems to see right through it, saw how upset I was about it.

"Do you really want to?" He asked quietly.

I breathed in shakily, trying to sound casual. "Yeah, might as well get it over with."

"Now or after the movie?" He still hadn't stopped playing with my hair, letting the soft strands slip in between his fingers.

"If I wait until later I'd probably chicken out." I admitted.

I closed my eyes, enjoying the feeling of his fingers in my hair. How he would gently pull at the roots, and scratching my scalp. It made me feel better, not so sick.

I tried making myself think that this conversation was normal. Tried telling myself that it wasn't real and that I would have the rest of my life to grow it out again. It was all still half a possibility.

"I think you should wait a little while longer." He whispered.

I let out an airy laugh. "You just like playing with it."

"Maybe." He smiled down at me.

"Do you have a hair kink that I need to know about, Dun?" I asked jokingly, sighed as he gently pulled again.

My heart didn't seem to beat as fast as it usually did when I was around him. But my face did feel warmer. I didn't want the feeling of his hands in my hair to leave.

"That could be it." He leaned in closer.

I pushed his face away, hiding my own in his neck. My breath on his skin made him shiver, making me smile in delight.

"Don't try to kiss me, I looked gross right now." I said, making Josh huff.

"You don't even now how hot you look right now, pajamas turn me on." He slipped his hand out of my hair and onto the back of my neck, making me pout.

He traced patterns on my skin.

"Any more fetish's I should now about?" I teased.

I gasped as his hand slipped into my hair again, pulling harder on my hair. The feeling shocks down to my toes.

"Maybe you have the hair kink, Joseph." He whispered the last part, making it my turn to shiver.

"Are we really talking like this after I just got back from getting poison run through my body?" I sat up, looking at him.

His eyes seemed to be swimming with thoughts, strangely making them even more beautiful. I thought about how sad I would be if I would never get to see them again.

"Yeah, I'm pathetic, aren't I?" Josh removed his hand out of my hair and letting it fall onto his lap.

I frowned at the lost of contact.