Trapdoor

Chapter 16

"Tyler?"

I looked up from my desk at Ms. Smalls. "Yes?"

"Are you okay?" I could feel all 23 eyes on me as she asked, her face showing fake concern.

I looked at the bored and realized it was filled with notes that weren't there at the beginning of class. Did I really space out for that long? Thinking about it made my thoughts slip away. Looking around the room, clearing my throat I nod.

She nodded back and went on with notes.

The first week back at school was hard, everyone knew what had happened and had gone back to treating me like wounded puppy, they all also started avoided me. They seemed to think that I contagious, but it not like I wasn't used to it. People were just being nice to me because there was a chance that I might die.

The bell rung and everyone gave me looks as they left the class. I just tried to gather my things up as quickly as possible. I was the last one to leave, only to be stopped by Ms. Smalls.

"Tyler, you know there are people you can talk to about this." Giving me a sympathetic look.

I nod, my voice seeming to be broken.

She gave me a small smile, her sympathy still clear in her eyes, and went on. "You can go and talk to the school councilor or any of us teachers."

I don't say anything for a moment and just watch the kids walking past in the hallways.

"Tyler?"

"I have to get to class." I left quickly, pushing past the kids in the hall to get away from piercing eyes.

Waving between the people, rushing into a bathroom and locking the door. My chest heaving and my eyes burning, I couldn't do this. Everyone was just sorry for me and I couldn't stand it. My mind was screaming IM STILL ALIVE.

I rush to the sink and look at whats staring back. I'm pale and look sickly. Why did I even bother to do this? I pulled my hat down and broke down. Letting myself sink to the floor as I cry.

I wanted Josh, even though I knew not even love would fix how sad I am, its gotten itself implanted into my head and its unmovable. Someone knocks on the door and I ignore it, leaving them to wonder why the door was locked. I just hoped they wouldn't get a janitor to coke unlock it.

I pulled my phone out to text Josh to come get me, trying to think of anything else while I wanted for an answer. The feeling of the cool tiles on my burning skin, the way the sink dripped, anything.

I had started to lose hope in Josh when he finally texted me.

Josh❤👽: I'll be there soon, okay? Just try to calm down

I wipe my eyes and hiccup after reading it, trying not to let a fresh set of tears flow. I just really wanted Josh to hold me right then and tell me that I'd get help.

Oh god, I wanted help so badly. I fucking hated the way I felt so empty and numb, even the things Josh said didn't help. Anything that anyone said didn't help, I even told my sister to save her breath when I got back from the hospital. I had locked myself up in my room, ignoring everyone and just slept.

My mom had gotten sick of that really fast and burst in one day telling me that we were going school shopping. I was reluctant to leave the house, but my mom had actually made me feel normal and I thought it wouldn't be so bad. I was wrong, it was worse. So here I am now.

Josh👽❤: I'm in the school

Josh👽❤: where are you?

Babyboy: batroom flor 2

My hands were shaking and I dropped my phone so I didn't have to look at them anymore. I pressed the heels of my hands onto my eyes as I tried to tell myself that I needed to take deep breaths.

But it only quickened when I heard a bang on the door and jumped.

"Ty, baby," Josh talked quietly through the door. "You gotta open the door so I can take you home."

I took deep, shaky breaths. I was to exhausted to stand and flip the lock open. "I can't."

Josh's voice came out calmly and smoothly. "Yes you can baby, you can do it."

I didn't reply and sat there, trying to gain control of my breath.

"I'm going to go get help, I'm going to be right back, okay Tyler?" He asked.

"No!" I hiccupped again, taking in a few sharp breaths.

"Then you have to open the door so I can get to you, Tyler please." His voice raised a little, but still comforting.

I don't remember getting up and unlocking it or how I even did it, but Josh was holding me within seconds. His scent filling my nose, making me calm down enough to breath properly. My arms around him as I cried.

"Its okay, ty." Josh hugged me tightly, his face in my shoulder. "I got you."

And he did.

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T R A S H O M G

But at least I updated, right?