Trapdoor

Chapter 13

Cold. That's all I could feel. I heard shouts and I could see lights, but I couldn't bring myself to open my eyes. I was too tired to do that.

Next I felt hands. They were warm and rough to the touch, but gentle when I felt them on me. They put their head to my chest, probably trying to find a heartbeat. A heartbeat that was barely there.

I tried opening my eyes to see who this person was, but they seemed to be glued shut. But for some reason I wasn't worried, I couldn't bring myself to care about the state I was in, I was too tired.

I felt someone wrap something around me. And the voices I heard were soft murmurs, I couldn't make out what they were saying, they seemed to be to far away. I was to far away.

I tired to remember what had happened to end me up here, numb as hell and confused. Was it sleep walking or was I just faint? Maybe I just didn't want to remember.

I tried moving, but my body didn't seem to want to corporate with my head. And again, I couldn't make myself care. Maybe something was seriously wrong with me, or maybe I had just woken up from a dream.

I felt someone lift me up. It felt weird being limp in someone's arms, and not knowing what was happening around you was even weirder. It made me more tired.

I could hear the distant sound of sirens and being pulled forward. Someone grabbed my hand and squeezed it, bring it up to their lips to kiss it. I wanted to squeeze back with every fiber of my being and I tried hard to do so, but it just wouldn't.

A name came to mind as the person kissed my hand again. Josh. Red hair, nose piercing, and brown eyes. I remembered his smile and the way he almost squinted when he did so. His laugh echoed in my head as I desperately tried to squeeze his hand.

Cold. It was cold, I was cold. Why was I so cold? I wanted it to stop and I wanted my mind to shut off. Panic set in and my mind felt fuzzy. This was how I was going to die, not cancer.

Cancer? Was that what I had? I began to get frustrated when no other memories came to me. What couldn't I remember anything? Why wasn't I working properly.

I was broken to the point that my mind wasn't working right. My mind buzzing and sparking as I thought. And my ears rang as I tried to listen to the soft murmur of voices that were to far away.

Why was I so far away? I was to far to try and call out, but it wouldn't have worked anyway, my mouth was dry and my throat soar. The want to know what was happening increased as I felt another two pairs of hands touch me.

I wanted sleep to take me so I didn't have to worry about what would happen next. Then maybe I would be able to put this all back together. But I remember sleeping for a long time.

I remembered the burning of my lungs and stars and sleep. I slept for so long, I couldn't recall though. How long had it been before they found me?

But where had I been and why was so in need of finding? I felt like I knew, but it was still to fuzzy to see. This made me want to cry out.

I felt trapped in my body, in my mind. I wanted out. I didn't want to deal with the mess in my head, or the mess I had created outside my mind. Things out get to dirty and I would end up like this again.

I was lived again and I heard the squeak of a wobbly wheel, and footsteps. More lights and prods and I was left alone. The room I was in felt empty, where did they go?

I waited for someone, anyone, to return. Waiting for Josh's hand again. But I got tired and sleep gladly took me.