Downhill From Here (#1)

54. Gone

Nathan's POV

"I'm here, okay?" I whispered. "I'm not going anywhere."

My words were probably drowned out by the sirens and machines all around us.

The EMTs were speaking to each other in hushed tones, saying orders I didn't quite understand.

My body felt numb as I sat on the bench in the back of the ambulance, staring at her.

Her normal brown skin color had faded into a paleness I didn't recognize. There was blood smeared down the front of her jacket and around her mouth and chin. The oxygen mask covered her mouth and I couldn't tell if she was breathing or not.

One second everything was fine and the next, she was struggling to breathe, coughing up blood.

Fresh tears poured from my eyes as I clung to her bare hand. Her bloody gloves had been removed when they rushed her into the vehicle.

My bottom lip wobbled as I stared at her. She was so still...a body just laying there.

This was all my fault. I should've never... I shook my head, a pounding forming.

"I'm so sorry...I'm so so sorry."

****************************************************
10:12 pm

The waiting room felt like a cage, the light blue walls, and fluorescent lights making me nauseous.

Everyone sat around, speaking in low whispers, waiting.

I shifted in my seat uncomfortably, my eyes heavy from crying earlier.

I was too stunned to speak. To even know what to think. I'd been here for over two hours and hadn't done a thing but sit and pace.

The doors slid open again and my mom came in, a sad smile on her face as she looked around at everyone. Sitting down beside me, she grabbed my arm, holding onto me tightly.

"Lilo left with your dad. He's gonna take her home."

I nodded, my head hurting as I listened. "Did she..." My voice broke and my eyes fluttered again. "Was she there when—?"

"No..." She shook her head, brushing her gray hair behind her ear. "Once we noticed something was off, your dad took her and left."

I nodded my head again, my eyes closing. "Mom what if..."I shook my head this time, my eyes burning with tears again. "It's all my fault...if I hadn't...I—I...I shouldn't have ever let her—-" My voice broke apart.

"Stop it," She whispered, her hand holding onto my cheek. She turned my head, forcing me to look at her. "She's sick and there was always a chance that she would get sick again. You couldn't have stopped that. This could've happened anywhere."

"And knowing my baby girl," Gram said, from a few seats over. "There's probably more she wasn't telling us."

Whitney's head rested on Poppy's shoulder, her eyes red from crying. Scarlet and Stevie sat together hand in hand, both looking out of it. Nalu paced the length of the waiting room, his usual talkative self quiet and worried. Ozias and Bill were speaking in low whispers in chairs across from me and Minnow was staring straight at me now.

"Did she tell you guys?" Her eyes were wide and panicked. "Please tell me she told you..." Her voice wobbled as she looked around at all of us.

"Told us what?" Stevie asked.

I sat up straighter, my mouth going dry as I stared at her.

"The emergency room visit back in December?"