Downhill From Here (#1)

39. I'm Into You

A/N: *sips tea and smiles*
Y'all are in for a good one. 😉
The song above perfectly encapsulates the mood of this chapter.❤️❤️

Bowie's POV
I was about to pass out for real this time. My heart was beating way too fast.

"Did you hear what I said?" I asked, quietly. He hadn't said anything which was making me more nervous. I figured we would've at least started arguing by now.

Nathan eyes held mine for so long that I was scared for what he was to say next. Then he looked away and ran a hand though his curly hair, sighing. He moved to sit down at the arm of the chair I was next to, his eyes looking out at the open back door.

"Nathan—"

"You know when I went on that date with Rosa back in November...I accidentally called you Lilo's mom," He said calmly. My eyes widened for a brief second and I swallowed. "And when I kissed her, I opened my eyes and...I saw you."

Now my eyes widened for sure. Huh?

"Wha—"

"I saw you and then realized that I was kissing someone else. It was the strangest thing that had ever happened to me. I thought that maybe...." He scratched his beard lightly. "...maybe my mind was just playing tricks on me because we spend so much time together."

I was too stunned to speak.

"And then Rosa showed up again and I couldn't keep seeing her because you were constantly on my mind." I could see something flicker in his eyes as he spoke. "When you almost went down Red Mountain, I swear—-" He shook his head. "—-I've never....I've never felt that way before. It was like someone had taken all the air from my lungs...I was so fucking scared to lose you."

I grabbed onto the back of the couch for support, feeling weak in the knees. "Then I went and kissed you in the storage closet and it only made things worse."

"I've never been able to talk about my sobriety or Lilo's mom the way I have with you." His tone was unwavering and steady as he spoke. "We've spent almost everyday together for the past 3 months and yet it's not enough for me." He rose from his position and moved towards me very slowly. I clenched my jaw, feeling fluttering in my stomach. "Your relationship with Lilo has changed my feelings for you...but it hasn't clouded them. I feel the way I do about you even when she's not there...constantly. Because you...you make me want to be a better person. I want to be with you because my life has been more meaningful since you've entered into it ."

My breath caught in my throat and I exhaled slowly.

"So to be fully transparent with you...yes, I am physically attracted to you." The smile on his face was soft. "But I've had feelings for you too and everyday they've only gotten stronger." He took another step towards me. I could feel my stoney resolve growing weaker by the second. And whenever he got too close I couldn't think straight.

"Nathan I..." He moved closer and lost my words, feeling overwhelmed by the closeness. He towered over me, leaning his neck to look down at me. My hands grabbed at the edges of my dress as I swallowed. I wanted him so much that it hurt physically.

But I was so scared. I didn't want to mess things up. I couldn't.

"Tell me to stop and I will," He said softly. My chin was lifted by his finger and he held my face, pressing his fingers into my curls from the nape of my neck. Tingles ran through me at all of the places that he touched and my eyes closed as I felt my heartbeat quicken.

It was too simple...too good. I knew that there was so much at stake if we did this. Our relationship would most likely have to be private, his sister and manager would obviously disapprove. And Lilo...