You Remind Me of Something

88.

Two weeks had seemed to fly by at the Brown household.  On top of Madison reaching 37 weeks, it was one of the hottest Junes California had seen in a long time.  As the heat rose, so did her agitation and uncomfortableness.  

They sat in the doctor's office, Madison's hand in Chris's as Dr. Lucas prepared for her exam. 

"Madison, how are you feeling?" Madison shrugged, looking up at the ceiling.

"Like I did almost 9 months ago.  I thought nausea went away?" The doctor laughed, shaking her head.

"Sadly, towards the end, you start to feel like you did at the beginning.  She's taking up more room now, so you feel nauseas because your stomach is being smooshed."  Dr. Lucas spoke as she prepped Madison for her ultrasound. 

"I'm also super gassy.  And I bleed after sex.." Dr. Lucas nodded, as she ran the wand over Madison's stomach. 

"The gassiness is the same thing as the nausea.  And is it spotting or a lot of blood?"  

"Spotting."

"It's normal.  You're body is getting ready for some changes so it's more sensitive down there.  And there she is.  Head down.  Just how she is supposed to be."  Madison stared at the screen, squeezing Chris's hand, who squinted while looking at the screen.

"Uh, is she holding her cord?" He asked.  Dr. Lucas smiled and nodded.

"Yup.  Showing Mom and Dad she can grab things now."  Madison smiled. 

"So she can come at any time now?" Madison asked.  The doctor shook her head, wiping off Madison's stomach.

"Yes and no.  If she comes right now, she would still have to be in NICU because full term is 39 weeks, but she would be fine if she was born now.  If that makes any sense."  Madison nodded, sitting up, pulling her shirt down. 

"So now what?" Chris asked.  

"You'll come back next week.  Like I told you last time, focus on relaxing and rest.  Baby is doing good.  Mom is doing good. We're right on track."  Madison sighed, looking utterly defeated.

"Babe, what's wrong?" Chris asked, holding her hand. She sighed softly, tears coming to her eyes and streaming down her cheeks. 

"Everyone says that you'll miss having the baby inside of you, moving around and I just want her out.  And I feel guilty because I am supposed to cherish this moment but I'm so tired that all I want to do is cry and shove her out.  I'm going to be a horrible mother."  Chris shook his head.

"Madison, you're going to be an amazing mom.  You already are an amazing mom.  Look at all the things you do and you've done for her already.  Not to mention Ro, Aeko and Lovely.  What you're feeling is completely normal, right Dr. Lucas?" Chris said, looking at the woman with a pleading look on his face.  She smiled and nodded. 

"Chris is absolutely right.  I know how to perform C-sections, and I contemplated giving myself one.  When she is born, you'll miss the movements and the kicks. But you'll have this little bundle of love that you can carry around."  Madison laughed softly, her hand on her stomach as she sniffled. 

"I have to pee." She sobbed.  Chris smiled, helping her off the bed and to the bathroom.  He looked at the doctor and sighed. 

"Big emotions." He said, laughing softly.  Dr. Lucas smiled and nodded. 

"It's normal.  You're handling it well also.  Just keep doing what you're doing.  And keep her calm." Chris nodded, as the bathroom door opened, Madison walking out with a smile on her face.