your blueberry boy ・❥・ hyunlix

dix-huit

short chapter, but a good one!

[felix pov]

"good morning felix. my name is mr. kim, but i'm fine with you just calling me seungmin." the therapist spoke softly.

"okay, seungmin." i replied, while he just typed into his computer.

"alright... lee felix... what have we got here..." seungmin started, "oh, you've been here for a while."

"...yeah.." i responded slightly.

"anyways, let's just forget about that. let's talk about you." he paused, "so, how are you feeing today?"

"bad."

"why's that?"

"cuz i'm sick"

"i dunno."

"..alright.. is there anything i can do to help you?"

"nah."

"...mkayyy... is there anything else you want to tell me?"

"nope."

the puppy look-a-like just stared at me for a few seconds, "is there anything that's been on your mind lately? it can be good or bad."

i was about to respond by just saying "nah," but i changed my mind.

there was certainly something that was on my mind, and it wasn't myself.

"...can it be about another person..?" i asked.

"of course, it can be about anything in the world." he replied.

i paused for a moment, "it's about a nurse."

seungmin picked up a pencil and flipped his notebook to a fresh page, "mkay.. is this a staff report?"

"n-no! not at all! i just want to talk about him." i responded anxiously.

"alright, well is there something about him that's troubling or confusing you?" he asked.

"yes, a lot. you see the thing is..." i paused for a moment. the puppy raised his eyebrow, waiting for me to finish my sentence. "...is it normal that i feel comforted when he's around me?"

seungmin crossed his arms, "of course it is, that's what nurses are for!" he responded enthusiastically.

"but like... it's different with him."

"mkay, i'm listening."

i took a deep breath, but then spoke up again.

"he's really good looking, and at first i hated him for it, and i think it was because i was jealous, and i just assumed that he had this massive ego that i had to deflate. but i was wrong, completely wrong, he is the kindest man i've ever met, maybe even kinder than dr. han! when he says things to be i can feel my face start to heat up, as well as butterflies erupt in my stomach, and i don't know why i feel like that. i hate myself for it, and i know it isn't a good thing, but i can't stop denying it any more..." i paused for a moment, "...i like him, i have a fat fucking crush on my nurse, and it was just so sudden too!.... there, i finally said it..."

the therapist was stunned.

he smiled, "well... he must be pretty amazing then..." he paused, "so... which nurse is it? don't worry, i won't say a word."

i hesitated for a moment, but i trusted the therapist enough.

"...nurse hwang..."

seungmin's smile then dropped, he squinted his eyes, giving me a death stare.

"oh... felix, honey..." he started,

"hyunjin has a girlfriend..."

...

my heart dropped, no, it shattered.

hyunjin... has a girlfriend...?

why didn't he tell me?

i felt as if i had been betrayed.

"yeah... he's only into women..." seungmin spoke.

the anger inside of me started to build up.

all this time, i thought that hyunjin might've been dropping hints that he was interested in me from the very beginning. he was always so caring.

but that's just how he was. and he was like that with everyone.

i wasn't special.

to him, i was just an ordinary patient.

and the therapy session ended there.

dr. han took me back to my hospital room, noticing my broken expression. however, he decided to just say nothing, as he didn't want to upset me even more.

i lied in my bed,

sobbing.

"...hyunjin," i cried.

"how could you... how could you lead me on like that..."