My Mistakes Were Made For You

20. [Is This What You Wanted]

2165 words
[★★★★☆]

    In the meantime, Alex sat outside and couldn't stop panicking. He heard footsteps behind him. "Al.. hey, are you alright?" It was Miles, who put a hand on his shoulder. "Leave me alone.." Alex muttered but Miles didn't listen. He wanted to make him feel better. However, he didn't realise that Alex really meant it. "Fuck off." Alex said. "Al, I just want to-.." Miles got interrupted. "It never would've happened if you weren't in me fuckin' life! If I wasn't that stupid to fall in love with you! If you didn't fucking kiss me yesterday!" Alex rambled. Miles didn't put up with his behaviour. How could he blame his boyfriend for what happened?

    "Are you serious? I'm tryin' to help you and yer being such a dick!" Miles removed his hand and Alex looked up at him. "Y'know what? Maybe it really would've been better if you weren't in my life. I can't stand yer.. fucking face anymore and how you get flustered every single time, Al! And your dumb poetry words! I-I hate it." Miles yelled and left. Alex wanted to yell after him but couldn't get a word out. Miles didn't mean it. He loved Alex and his face and how he always blushed because of him, as well as his poetry. His anger had taken over. Both regretted what they had said. Alex felt bad. His life was a mess again.

    "Al? Where's Miles? I thought he was with you.." Nick asked and noticed how his question made Alex feel even worse. He only then noticed that he was crying. "G-Gone.. I hurt him, Nick. I-I hurt him. He hurt m-me." Alex voice was breaking. Jamie was slowly approaching them but not Matt. He watched from inside the house, feeling absolutely terrible. He blamed himself for everything. This wouldn't have happened if he wasn't that dumb to send the video around. He was the reason his best friend's and good friend's life got ruined.

    Alex stood up and left, not even thinking about the rucksack which had his diary in it and the love letter he freshly had written. "Al, where are you going?" Nick asked. "Home.. bye." Alex replied and Nick and Jamie waved at him, worried. "Just be careful." Jamie yelled after him. They both didn't know what they were supposed to do in that situation. Were they supposed to stop him? Was is the right decision to leave him be? Jamie and Nick turned around to face Matt.

    It looked like he was about to cry. And yes, he was indeed about to. He did fuck up bad and he knew it. "Matt are you cry-.." Jamie got interrupted by him. "Hey.. uh.. would be nice i-if you just leave me alone for now.." Matt weakly smiled at them and received two unsure and worried nods. "Call if ya need anything." Jamie said. "Yeah.. and remember, all will be just fine." Nick said, as both left, waving goodbye. What was all that? So much happened in such a short time- and nothing good.

"D'ya know how to handle this whole situation with 'em?" Jamie asked Nick, as they were walking down the street, side by side. "No.. I guess all three just need sum time alone and then we'll see." Nick replied and sighed. "Jesus.. how did this even happen..? I feel so overwhelmed. We were just having fun the other night and now this.." Jamie said. "I dunno. A lot of dumb decisions can happen when yer drunk.. but yeah yer right.. it's much at once. It's.. scary." Nick responded and the other boy agreed with him. Both felt bad for the three of them, but especially for Matt. The guilt he must've felt. "Poor Matt.." Nick muttered.

"Yeah.. never seen him like this.. I wish Miles and Alex could see it too." Jamie stated, receiving a nod. "They will eventually.. they just need sum time to think." Nick answered. "What do you think happened between Al and Miles?" Jamie wondered. "I dunno. Al said that he hurt Miles. And that Miles hurt him. Nothin' more." The other boy replied.

Meanwhile, Miles was angrily storming into his house. He wasn't crying or anything. He was so mad that his boyfriend didn't let him help and blamed him for what happened. However, he still was really hurt by Alex's words. He couldn't get them out of his mind. He wanted to be just angry at him but then the sadness kept taking control over his emotions.