not a big deal~carl grimes

<nineteen>

i woke up early that morning. carl was awake long before me 'good morning sleeping beauty.' he laughed at me and my messy hair, thrown all over my face.

i smiled, sitting up 'morning. how long have you been awake?'

he shrugged, 'an hour or so. i didn't get up because i didn't want to wake you.'

'oh you're so sweet.' i giggled, climbing out of the bed. 'i'm going to go get changed so, i'll see you later. as i began to make my way out the room, i nearly collided into rick 'oh, hey rick.'

'hey taylor. daryl went out with aaron last night and he's not back yet. just thought i should let you know.' he told me.

i nodded as i disappeared down the stairs. i walked to the next house where carol was already up 'morning sweetie.' she smiled when she saw me 'where were you last night?'

'oh i crashed at carls. i'm going to go get changed.' i explained, heading to the stairs.

'wait.' she stopped me 'are you hungry? do you want breakfast?'

'i'm good thanks.' i disappeared upstairs.

i had been wearing a dark green dress with tiny daisies dotted around it from the night before. it wasn't my style but deanna never really liked me showing up to parties in jeans and t-shirts like i normally wore. i exchanged the dress for black cargos, a dark grey, long sleeved shirt whick had buttons up the top which i left undone. i threw a brown flannel over it which was very big on me and i put on dark brown converse as my black high tops were still at carls and i didn't want to go back for shoes when i could get them later.

my hair had been down with two strands twisted back and joined together with my bangs still hanging out. i changed it to a loose ponytail on the back of my head with my grown out bangs out, some strands falling into my face. i never realised how much my hair had grown until i pulled it up. when i did my hair like this before, it was long but would only fall to maybe just under my shoulder blades, now my ends were early at my tail bone, i never realised in the year i was gone, it had grown that much.

i put on a khaki baseball cap before heading downstairs. 'sweetie.' carol stopped me.

'yeah, i turned to her s i grabbed my bag by the door.

her head tilted 'where are you off to?'

'i don't know. i  was thinking go out to the woods.' she was one person i could trust with the secret that i snuck out.

'well at least eat first, you haven't eaten since yesterday morning and if you're going outside the walls, you don't want to feel sick and pass out just because you haven't eaten.' she set a plate out. it had pacakes with strawberries and blueberries on top. there was even a tiny pot of syrup on the side.

'where did you get the stuff to make this?' i sat down, biting into the food which tasted like i was in heaven. 'oh my god these are amazing. oh my god, did a walker kill me? am i in heaven right now?' i joked.

'thank you.' she giggled. 'i used to love cooking i perfected every recipe i ever even tried. i made it just so both sophia and ed liked it. ed was my husband. i guess cooking was just an escape from the torture that was my reality.' she sighed.

'what was so bad? stay at home where there's lots of food, go pta meetings. housewife sounds great, not that it would be for me even without all this but, you know.'

she chuckled 'that part was good, other than the bitchy moms at pta meetings.' we both laughed 'it was more ed that made it bad. he was the whole reason i  kept my hair short. if it was long he would pull it and sometimes rip little bits out. if i cut it there was nothing for him to grab.'

i could see her getting worked up so i put my hand on hers 'it's okay carol. he's gone and you don't have to worry about that. you never have to worry about shitty people like him.'

i ate the rest of my food before heading out. i climbed over the wall where enid and i had the other day, round the back of the houses. it was quiet, the only sound i could hear was twigs snapping beneath my ow feet and leaves rustling in the wind.

i ran through the woods, slowing down to  walk when i could see two people sat by a log on the floor. the girl had long, light brown hair, and the boy wore a sheriffs hat. carl and enid. i hid behind a tree, listening into their conversation. i knew it was wrong but i wanted to know that they were talking about and if i went over, they might change the conversation.

'he wouldn't understand.' enid said, i knew they were talking about ron. he never really understood anything with enid. he never really understood her. that was one of the reasons why i didn't like him that much, he didn't seem to care about people, not even his own girlfriend.

'why do i scare you?' carl laughed.

enid laughed along 'i don't know, you just do.'

she took her knife out her bag and started carving at the bark on another log. 'cool knife.' carl said as he watched her.

'it was my moms.' she told him

i watched the two as they ran to hide in a tree when we could hear walkers nearby. i watched them stand so close to each other. i knew carl wasn't my boyfriend and any feelings he ever had for me had probably gone away over the year where we didn't see each other because i had just got up and left, but i still liked him the same way i did back then and seeing him and enid hurt me.

i headed back to alexandria, sneaking my way past the hoard, going straight back to my house.