not a big deal~carl grimes

<nine>

'are you okay?' i asked carl as we headed back outside now that it was over.

'i'm fine.' he pushed me away.

i sighed, following behind him. he would come around, he was just upset over loosing his mom.

we slowly walked down the stairs, towards rick, glenn, daryl, hershel, beth, and the two prisoners. i stood quietly, crying in the corner and rick realised, breaking down into tears over loosing his wife.

carl just stood there, sad but without the tears or crying. i went over to him, standing in front of him 'you don't have to keep a strong front. you can cry for as long as you need it's okay.' i comforted him.

he pulled me in by my waist, hugging me as i wrapped my arms around his neck. he whispered in my ear 'thank you. thank you for doing what i couldn't.' he sounded on the verge of tears but still, none fell.

'it's okay.' tears rolled down my cheeks, soaking his shoulder, leaving a dark grey patch on his shirt.

beth, hershel and i stood, huddling round the baby who was mow in carls arms rather than maggies, as maggie, and daryl went out on a run to get formula.

the 4 of us moved inside 'do you want me to take her?' i offered.

'no thanks.' carl shook his head, looking down at his baby sister in his arms.

i sat beside him, rubbing his back 'carl, please, a lot has happened today, go take a nap or something.'

'you've been with me all day, what's happened to me has also happened to you.' he pointed out.'

'no,' i corrected him 'i lost lori, a woman in the same group who i barely knew. you lost your mom. it's drastically different.'

he sighed 'okay.' he gently passed his baby sister into my arms as he disappeared into the cell. i sat around witch hershel and beth all day. carl came back after a few hours but i kept her with me as she looked peaceful and we didn't want to disturb her.

she eventually began crying again but luckily, maggie and daryl returned soon after. daryl took her out of my arms while beth prepared a bottle to give to her. daryl fed her as he asked carl 'she got a name yet?'

'not yet.' carl answered 'but i was thinking maybe sofia. then there's carol too. and andrea, amy, jacqui, patricia or, lori. i don't know.

'you like that?' daryl asked the yet to be named, newest member of the group. 'little ass-kicker.' i chuckled at the nickname he gave her. 'right? that's a good name, right?' everyone laughed a little. 'little ass-kicker, you like that, huh? you like that sweetheart?'

daryl always intimidated me, i never pictured him as the softie he appeared to be at this moment, which is why it shocked me to see him so good with the baby.

early the next morning, i went outside. i wanted to sit by carols grave. the little time that i had known her, she took care of me. loosing her felt like loosing my mom all over again, and lori, while i didn't know her that well, i felt the sae about loosing her too.

'hey taylor.' i turned around to see daryl coming up behind me 'what are you doing out here?'

'i just wanted a little more time with carol. i don't know if it sounds weird, but when i first found you guys she was the first one to actually be inviting. i mean, rick invited me to join you but he didn't have that welcoming presence. that was carol, so in a way, after loosing my mom, it kinda felt like she became my second mom.' i explained.

he kneeled down beside me, putting a flower in the centre of the circle of stones on the lump of dirt. 'it doesn't sound weird at all. how long have you been out here?'

'i don't know.' i looked at the horizon 'maybe an hour before sunrise.' i estimated.

'you've been out here for nearly 3 hours!?'

i shrugged 'yeah well i couldn't sleep.'

he sat beside me, putting his crossbow in front of us 'what was keeping you up?'

i shrugged again 'hard to say. possibly fear of more walkers getting in. maybe just my brain refused to turn off after everything that happened.'

'well,' he pulled me to my feet 'you need to sleep at least a little bit. we can't have you falling asleep when we need you.' he starting walking back with me 'come on, let's get you back inside.'

everyone was beginning to sit around at the table when daryl brought me back in 'found her outside. by the graves.'

rather than going back to my cell where i could sleep, i took a seat next to carl, resting my head on the table as he picked at what was in his bowl but not really eating.

'you weren't here when i woke up. how long were you gone?' he questioned me.

i sighed, mumbling 'i don't know, just before sunrise. daryl said nearly 3 hours.'

'you can't be outside on your own, especially when it's dark, and especially after what happened yesterday.'

i rolled my eyes. 'sorry mom.'i sassed him, i knew he was just trying to look out for me so i felt bad as soon as i said it 'i'm sorry.' i sat up, 'that was harsh.'

'no big deal, it's fine. you're tired, you just need sleep.' he pulled me into his shoulder where i fell asleep for a few minutes.