not a big deal~carl grimes

<twenty-seven>

it had been a week. I hadn't spoken to carl. i would see him in the streets or we would exchange awkward smiles through the window. it was really weird having to look out my window into my exes bedroom, so i began putting my blinds down. i'd have them closed when i knew he was in his room.

i rarely ever stayed at home. i would go out on runs or hide out in the woods. i fixed the ladder to the tree house so i started to go back up there again. i only ever went alone so i could have somewhere to go and find peace. no responsibility, no people...no carl.

i was going on a run with rick and daryl today. we left early. as we drove i asked 'can i play some music?'

'no.' daryl said, knowing exactly what i would play.

rick laughed, 'sure.' he would play anything as long as it annoyed daryl. i handed him a cd i found the last time i went out and he put it in the stereo. 'track twelve.' i told him and he put it on.

daryl sighed and rolled his eyes as i laughed and began singing along to you belong with me by taylor swift 'you're on the phone with your girlfriend she's upset, she's going off about something that you said, but she doesn't get your humour like i do.' i sang along in daryls ear just for the sake of annoying him.

we pulled up outside a small wooden building. there was a garage door on the side that said "sorghum" we allgot out the car as i checked my gun was loaded and pointed it at the door in case daryl opened it and walkers came out to try attacking us.

nothing moved, rick and i even looked around but nothing. there was a big white moving van taking up nearly the whole garage. we did the same that we did for the first door when daryl opened the van. nothing that could move by itself. instead it was full to the brim with food and supplies. i sighed, smiling as i looked at what we were going to go back with.

i closed the back as rick and daryl grabbed our stuff and we continued on in the van. rick said we would come back for the car 'or i drive it.' i offered.

daryl just laughed 'no way. we're not having you crash it and if you die, carol will beat our asses for letting you drive.'

i rolled my eyes, climbing into the front of the van. i sat between the two. 'what happened with you and carl?' rick asked, keeping his eyes on the road.

i shrugged 'i don't know. i never actually got a reason. i got the classic "it's not you it's me".'

he looked over to make sure i was alright 'he'll come around. he's probably just in a bad mood after loosing his eye. he always does stuff he'll regret when he is.'

i sighed 'do i want someone like that?' i asked 'am i going to want to date a boy who will break up with me every time he's annoyed at what could be nothing.'

'well you made him happy. and he's seemed miserable the last week.' rick said 'but he'll take time to even try talk to you again. i heard him talking to michonne, he thinks you hate him right now. he's stubborn so he won't make the first move until he's sure you're not going to and he's sure you still like him.'

i thought about it for a few minutes until we pulled up at a gas station. we all got out and i put my gun in the holster around my leg 'i'm going to see if there's anything else inside.'

i ran into the store through the back as the main door was locked, looking around. there was some stuff behind the counter. i knew daryl and carol and a few other people smoked so i grabbed a few packets of cigarettes, slipping some in my pockets for me. i also grabbed a huge pack of bottled water and i found that drink denise was talking about getting for tara so i grabbed it.

i rushed out when i heard daryl screaming at some guy. he had long hair and a covered face and daryl and rick were pointing their guns at him. he warned us about some walkers, saying they were a half mile back.

he asked us if we had a camp. rick and daryl looked at each other 'no.' i lied for them. 'do you?'

'no.' he lied. i could tell by the way he said it and from how well kept he looked. as he ran off, rick asked his name. the guy said his name was paul rovia but his friends called him jesus. he did kind of look like he could be jesus.

as he ran off, rick tried to ask him the questions but daryl stopped him.

we ran round the back when we heard something, but it was only fire crackers. as we raced back, we saw jesus driving off in our van.

we raced after it, following the tire tracks on the road, finally catching up when he stopped. rick tied him up as we took the truck back from him, leaving him on the side of the road. we hadn't gotten far when we heard thudding 'i think that guys on the roof.' i said as it sounded like someone walking.

rick took the van to a screeching halt, throwing him off in front of us. as rick drove after him when he ran, daryl jumped out to chase him on foot. s rick got out to go for the walkers making their way towards he said 'stay here.' so i did, sitting in the van as everything unfolded. rick killed walkers and daryl chases jesus around the field.

i threw jesus out when he tried to climb in but he kicked something to make the van start rolling backwards into the lake behind. daryl pulled me out as i grabbed the bag and got out before i went in with it. 'damnit.' i whispered as it sunk.

we got into one of the cars to go home. i sat shotgun with rick driving while daryl stayed in the back with an unconscious jesus.

i went straight to my room when we got back as it was late and i was tired.

at the window, i saw carl. he took off his shirt and was about to get into his bed before he saw me. he grabbed the paper he used last time we wrote to each other through the windows.

hey

i ignored him, closing the blinds and going to bed. i knew it was mean but i didn't want to speak now. i wanted to keep thinking about what rick said earlier before i made a decision.