Random Countryhumans Oneshots

ASEANs goes to a roadtrip

"Okay, this week is very stressful and I decided that we all have a road trip" Singapore proposed "who's driving tho?" Cambodia asked "Phil, he is the only one who has an actual driving license" ASEAN answered "actually I'm gonna dri-" Singapore got cut off by his boss "no you're not, stop baby-ing him, he's the second oldest out of all of us" ASEAN crossed his arms "fine" Singapore sighs and then shouted "OI YOU IDIOTS! PREPARE YOUR SHIT" Singapore shouted causing everyone to pack their stuff

"Is everyone here?" ASEAN looks around the van "yea" Brunei says "do I really have to drive?" Phil said as he looks at the car keys "yep, now here's the rul-" ASEAN got cut off "why are there rules?! Aren't we suppose to have fun?" Indonesia interrupted his boss "shut up, now any of you simps; don't drive the car for Phil, I'm looking at you Singapore" The association glared lightly at the Singaporean causing Singapore to sweat nervously "no shitting on the seats, I have no idea why I have to say this but please, don't shit on the fucking seats" ASEAN continues and looks at Thailand and Thai noticed him looking and speaks up; "I didn't do that I swear!" Thailand says "I was just looking at you, what do you mean?" ASEAN looks at Thailand with a smirk causing Thailand to melt from embarrassment "no adopting random stray animals" ASEAN looks at Phil "but they were so cute!" Phil defended himself "Brunei went to a fucking hospital from rabies" Brunei sweats as he remembers him going to the hospital "okay but in my defense, Brunei was being a piece of shit" Phil says again "okay, that's all the rules so let's go" ASEAN took a seat at the back (Singapore is at the passengers seat)

As Phil starts the car he asked; "where are we going anyways?" He asks the small country "to this cool beach I found" Singapore gave Phil his phone that shows the location of the beach he is talking about "oh hey I know that! Let's go!" Phil starts driving

A few minutes later, while Phil is driving chaos is starting to happen on the van "MALAYSIAN FOOD IS BETTER THAN INDONESIAN FOOD!" Malaysia shouted as Indonesia glares at him "NOOO INDONESIA FOOD IS BETTER" Indonesia argued back "guys can we no-" Cambodia got cut off "shut it Cam-bodoh!" Malaysia pulls out a middle finger and Phil got annoyed "SHUT THE FUCK UP OR I'LL FUCKING CRASH THIS VAN" Phil shouted annoyed "oh yea, actually there is another rule; no shouting 'I'll crash the van', I know you're depressed but please kindly kill yourself after this trip" ASEAN calmly says "okay???" Phil sighs because now he can't kill himself and just drives the car calmly

A few more minutes has passed; "are we there yet?" Someone from the back seat asked "not yet" Singapore answered the voice as he scrolls on some random app "are we there yet?" The voice asked again "not yet" Singapore replied again "are we th-" before the voice could finish, Myanmar interrupted "shut up indog, and where the hell did you get that voice changer from anyways?!" He asks the idiotic countryleader "yes" the voice who we now know is Indonesia with a voice changer replied

More minutes has passed and very loud chewing can be heard causing Singapore to be annoyed as hell "HOLY SHIT CAN YOU ALL SHUT THE HELL UP?! IT HAS ONLY BEEN 20 MINUTES!" Singapore got annoyed "no" Malaysia said and continues munching on the chips really loudly "ALL I ASK FOR IS A PEACEFUL CAR RIDE!" Singapore is now fucking pissed off "Idgf" Malaysia replies and continues eating the chips loudly

Finally, an hour has passed and Phil stopped at the gas station "any of you guys needing to piss?" Phil asked everyone "nope" everyone replied and Phil then fills up the car and drives again, after a few seconds; "hey can we go back? I really need to pee" Laos said "we can't go back, this is a one way" Singapore replied still scrolling on a random app "but I reallyyyy need to pee!" Laos can feel his kidney wanting to give up "we can't, but there is a nearby gas station, we can go there but you have to wait for 5 minutes tho" Phil says to Laos "speed up!" Laos starts crying "I'm on the maximum speed, I can't speed up or Singapore would have 2.5k less money in his bank account" Phil replies calmly "plus why the hell did you not pee when we were in the gas station anyways?" Phil continues "honestly I have no ideaaaaAHHHHHH" Laos screamed as he feels a hot liquid falling down his pants "wait why'd you screa- AHHHH" Brunei screamed as he sees his seatmate soaked in you know what

Phil drove into the gas station and Laos changed his bottoms in there while Brunei sprays a fuck ton of alcohol on Laos' seat and finally, the trip continues

More minutes has passed and they are stuck in traffic "man why is it taking so long" Phil who is getting impatient boredly watched the cars moving very slowly "hey at least it ain't as bad as Indonesia's traffic, that shit is crazy" Malaysia said as he remembers being 2 hours late from a meeting in Indonesia "as much as I'm offended, I'm afraid that is true" Indonesia sighs wondering how to solve his traffic issue

A few more minutes, the ASEAN members finally passed traffic because Phil went to a shortcut no one knew about so yea, "when will we reach the beach?" Laos asks "an hour more" Phil replies and Laos sighs "wait I know a shortcut!" Vietnam then points to the left "I don't think that's safe" Singapore fixes his glasses as he looks at the direction Vietnam pointed to "trust me" Singapore sighs and told Phil to go to the left and uhhh let's just say it's surprisingly safe

"We have arrived in the beach guys! Wake Timor-leste up" Phil parks in the parking lot and goes out "I'll carry the bags cuz I'm strong" Indonesia then carried multiple bags "nahhh I'm stronger" Malaysia took more bags "No you're no-" Before Indonesia could argue back ASEAN slaps him "no" in the end indo, mal, and Brunei carries the bags in a hut Singapore rented

Meanwhile in the van...

Timor-leste is sleeping inside not knowing they already arrived in the destination, yea no one woke them up which is a sad moment, it is now midnight oh and this oneshots is long wtf

This is made when the author themself is in a roadtrip (but not in a beach tho)

I think I made it obvious that I'm a pipino